What do I want?

This is day 1 of 5 posts on how to get what you want and how to be happy.

Over the past few months I’ve been trying a few different things. Like blog challenges and trying out new experiences, some successful and some not so successful. I quit on the blogging challenge twice. I’ve come to realise what the most important thing in life is, it is to actually really want something, I mean reeealy wanting something.

We have all said I want more money, but then went and spent 5 euro on a cup of coffee and gone to work, not to think about money until the next time we are stuck for a bill, that we do not want to pay. Then we say I want more money again.

Why is that? The reason is we don’t really really want more money. If we did we would have it.

Let me explain a bit more. When we really want something, it is an emotional thing, not a conscious thing. It is generally driven by two things pleasure and pain. In the example above it’s driven by pain, I want more money to pay the bill. We actually want to run away from the bill, to get away from the pain. Whereas Christmas (as children) is driven by pleasure, we want to run to it.

Sometimes the pain motivates us to make lots of money to get out of that feeling of poverty, but in the long run it will only bring unhappiness. I’ll be happy when I make a million then when we make the million, we realise we still feel poor, we have all heard about the rich guy, who made millions, who was unhappy.

When we move towards stuff that makes us happy, we live with happiness now. Remember the excitement we had when we were looking forward to Christmas?

This is why wanting something is the most important thing in life. Because when you really want something, for the right reasons, your spreading happiness to the world, the people around you pick up on the enthusiasm and in turn it picks them up too.

When we are happy we want to share it.

The something, you want, can be a house, a car, more travel, a more fulfilling job or just to help more people each day.

So this is now the biggest and most important thing in your life. I have to want something so that I can bring happiness to the world. What a cool situation to be in. I get something and so does the world. Win win.

But this is also the biggest challenge there is. But I don’t know what I want?

Imagine this. Imagine that you set a goal, to find out, what you want over the next 30 days. Where would you start, what would you do, would it be exciting?

Writing down your goal each morn, writing down all the things you’d like, what would it yield, Hmmmmmm?

Now that I’ve got you thinking, this is the bit I’ve struggled with, most of all, over the past few years. As I said at the start what I want isn’t a conscious thing it’s an emotional thing.

I could not connect emotionally with what I wanted because of my beliefs. I could come up with fantastic ideas like buying a bus and going travelling the world, but then, I’d say, I can’t do that for one reason or another.

Basically I was pushing forward but I had the brakes on. I want, but I can’t! I was going nowhere.

I’m sure you have definitely felt this at one time or another.

So what can we do? For me what happened is, I started asking a better question.

I started asking what is holding me back, why do I have the brakes on?

This was my big breakthrough. I wanted to stop being stuck; this is what I really wanted. Since that decision I have been reading books, nonstop, in order to move forward, and because of being stuck I’ve had the greatest education the world has to offer.

Essentially I’ve boiled down my whole education to this.  If you want something and believe you can’t get it. You have to go back and “want” to get rid of the “belief” you can’t get it.

An example of this is. The banks aren’t lending so I can’t get money to start my dream business. The belief is “I can’t get money” to start my business. The fact that banks aren’t lending is true. But the belief that you can’t get money isn’t. You could pitch your idea to angel investors, there are billions of dollars, euro, yen and every other currency in private hands, that they just want to spend on making more money.

So as you can see it’s the belief that holds you back from getting what you want.

This is a simple model of how to find out your limiting beliefs.

• What do you want? Write it down. Is it a car house or just more happiness?
• Write down why you want it?
• And write down why do you believe you can have it.

If you answered that and feel good and have good reasons why you believe you can have it, then great your miles ahead of most of the world.

However, this is what a lot of answers will look like.

What do you want? I want to be happier 🙂

Why do you want it? Because my life is shit! 😦

Why do you believe you can have it: I don’t! 😦

I’m sure we have all felt that way before at some point. But this is mad; this is actually a good thing. This is an opportunity for this person, even though they are unhappy, they have a direction to go in now. They now know that they can work on their beliefs around why they cannot have a happy life.  You can also see that this person is running away from pain, but they are also running towards pleasure. They could get some excitement now, by aiming on getting rid of their negative beliefs about their life.

I’m sticking in the positive version of this because it will give you a broader example.

What do you want? I want to travel

Why do you want it? Because life is to be lived.

Why do you believe you can have it? Because, I can make anything happen, if I just figure out a way of getting around the bull shit.

The route of all our problems and unhappiness is the feeling of lack, the feeling of not being good enough, low self esteem and low self belief. They are all the same thing but the words mean different things in different contexts.

If we work on our self belief by proxy we will get happier if we work on our self esteem by proxy we will get happier.

I hope these revelations are as useful for you as they were for me.But it is only by going for what we want do we see and feel our blocks. So always be aiming to move forward, even if it means going back and taking off the brakes.

Aim to live with relentless enthusiasm.

Day 2

How to maintain a effective mindset. Day 7

What tools do I use to maintain my mindset?

I also I feel it’s important to develop your mind set also.

What are your biggest challenges on a day to day basis? I bet the number one thing is stress. We all get stressed about mad stuff. I had a friend who was stressed because her job was too easy, she felt she wasn’t doing enough. I’ve other friends with the exact opposite issue.

Here is the thing though. Stress is all in our mind. It doesn’t exist it’s actually just our interpretation of a situation. What is stressful for one person, is a doddle for another, just like the above example. I’ve known this for years, but applying this knowledge is a different story.

I’m a fairly relaxed and confidant person, but I have a really strong drive to push me forward, which makes me really impatient with myself. My brain will churn and churn looking for quicker faster ways of doing things. This often results in me not finishing things by jumping on to another project, which frustrates me. And so on and so on. We have all been there.
Essentially I was stressing myself out which lead to burn out.
My solution to this is meditation for about half an hour before bed and about half an hour when I wake up. It’s crazy how beneficial this is. When you meditate before bed you relax and sleep like a log. When you meditate when you wake up, you flow through your day. No stress and your organizational skills go up. The best thing though is I finish what I started, so I am seeing real progress in my day to day life.My natural tendency is to push, so I have to fight against that and force myself to relax. I feel that most people are like this these days, because life is so fast paced now.

My mantra when I’m meditating is “I’m super relaxed, healthy and happy is high energy” when your super relaxed, you think better, when your healthy, you think better, when you think better, you are happier, when your happier, you have more energy. Through all that you also become more effective.
So give it a go. It’s easy. Just keep repeating my mantra over and over while relaxing your body. Meditation is a great example of something that is purely practice. If you practice it you will get it is as simple as that.Meditation is really a way of me keeping focused on what I want which is to be happy healthy and effective.  I feel that most people would enjoy a bit more of this also.

The answer to my second question is; how am I going to develop my mind set. Well I’m going to start writing down my goals before I do my meditation, so I can visualise them and bring them into my reality a bit more. Now that I am more relaxed and productive throughout the day, because of my meditation, I can squeeze in some work that is going to get me to where I want to be a bit quicker
.

Planning and prioritising. Day 6

Planning and prioritising. Day 6

First and foremost my main priority right now is due to poor time management. It wasn’t that I didn’t have time, I just prioritised poorly, so then the pressure built up and now I have to catch up.

What is it? well I’m 4 days behind on my 30 day blogging challenge?

Even though I’m behind I did some good work on the missing days. I’m ok with it but I do wish I kept up.

I’m going to apply something I learned from Tony Robbins to this task. Basically ask the question. Why I must complete this goal. What are the pleasurable reasons to finish and what are the painful reasons to finish this.

I must complete the blogging challenge, because I ultimately want to get out of the situation I’m in, which is living in my parents’ house, pretty broke. I want to make a go of this blog as a business. To do that I have to build my will power and discipline, which will build myself belief, which will allow me to achieve even greater goals and ultimately have more fun. Basically I see this blog as a launch pad for the next chapter of my life, so it is quite important for me.

My second goal is to get my car fixed and get onto a product development course called the Founder Institute. That is on the 13th of November. It’s only a couple of grand but it is an important couple of grand. By having my blog finished I will have a product that is quite developed and I’ll have done some good prep work on what it will ultimately become. Through doing the tech development course I will be able to bring, my blog, to a level that I can call a business.

My third goal is to speak to a company called Webelevate; they teach people tech skills like programming, project management and marketing. I’ve completed this course and it has helped me a lot. I want to help them develop the student’s mindset to be more entrepreneurial and as a result get more out of the course. Through doing all my own personal development I have realised some issues between most people, that can be changed, and help them have a better easier and more fulfilling life.

So my deadlines for these are a bit more than 30 days, but that is just the process I’ve to go through.

1. Catch up and finish blogging challenge. Ends Oct 30th

2. Speak to Webelevate about doing a course and lectures. 18th of this month.

3. 13th of November start the course the Founder’s Institute.

4. A sneaky one which isn’t really tangible. Have more fun each day.

The purpose of all this is to have more fun in life and live life to the fullest. So I have an overriding goal of have more fun. This should be everyone’s main priority.

Each night I’ll plan the next day and see how I have improved and pat myself on the back.To apply all this I’m going to read my goals each morn and get pumped for the day. I’m going to do my blogging challenge and kick ass for the rest of the day.

Now that I have written this out I’m getting excited for today.  As I have to catch up on another 3 posts. But I will get them done and I will be building myself belief and setting myself up for success tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

Being Broke Kills the Imagination. Day 5

Day 5 of my 30 day blogging challenge.

The perfect day exercise, threw up more surprises that one expected.

Two really big things came out of doing this exercise.

1. I realised that being broke or in debt is a feeling that holds your imagination back. 

Over the past few years I’ve been in college, so I haven’t had a lot of cash to really plan out anything. So gradually bit by bit, I’ve stopped looking forward with excitement and actually I’ve gone the other way. I’ve started looking forward with trepidation because, I would be worrying about how am I going to pay for this, or that. Actually I’ve stopped planning or imagining fun stuff because of money. I’m really surprised to see this, as in the past I would have been very spontaneous and I had always seen myself this way. It is a bit of a painful eye opener to see that gradually I’ve regressed into a poverty mentality.

I am quite lucky to have had experiences in the past where I did have a lot of financial freedom. If i did not have those experiences in the past i probably would not have realised the difference between my thinking now and then. It would have been normal for me to think this way so why would I challenge the thought.

That realisation really got me in the gut. It was a real deep fearful feeling of oh S@**t I could have been stuck with that mentality without ever knowing any better.

The funny thing is I have plenty of money to do what I want, I blow loads of small cash on junk. I just developed the mentality of I don’t have enough. Total poverty mentality. All I need to do is decide on a thing I want to do in the future and keep track of my daily spending until I get it.

2. It takes effort to break out of it.

The moment I read the exercise, I instantly thought, I don’t really like anything enough to put into a perfect day. How limiting is that mentality. What it was really saying is, I don’t have the money to do what I want to do, so I won’t think about it for fear of feeling unhappy with my situation.

If I’d have taken those thoughts at face value, I would have done nothing. Luckily I wanted to finish this 30 day challenge, so I thought to write down anything I liked at all, maybe I’ll come up with some stuff.

Through writing down anything and everything I like, I soon realised that I was holding myself back, from having more fun in my life.

I was blinded by the belief that I had no money, to get what I want. How many people are blinded by this very thing? Only by taking the time and putting in the effort into this exercise did I get to see this belief.

This exercise also confirmed another idea I’ve been brewing for a while. It is only through action that you can progress. Only by doing this exercise did I get to see this belief. If I just went with my initial thoughts, I would not be writing this post, I would have quit. Only by getting the task down on paper, did it become obvious that I had an issue, that I needed to be resolved.

Action solves all problems. (Eventually)

The big lesson I’ve learned from this, is that I’ve to become a lot more conscious of my spending and start planning for a more exciting future.

A perfect day for me would be waking up with purpose, feeling energised @ 6 or 7 in the morning. I’d wake up with excitement for the day, because, I know, I have a lot of great things planned. First I will read my goals and get pumped, I’ll write a blog post and send it out, I’ll look at the stats on my blog for the previous day and see that my blog has grown. I’ll read a few comments that where left and get a great feeling that I’m making a difference to a few people’s lives. I’ll finish up my blogging and business building tasks by 12. Knowing that I’ve added something good too the world.

In the afternoon I’ll be meeting up with a friend to go for a hike or a cycle in the mountains, to take advantage of this beautiful sun. My friend, who is as equally as ambitious as me, feed off each other’s enthusiasm for life and come away from the experience energised and

looking forward to our next adventures.

In the evening, I will be planning my trip to India where I will be doing a lot of exploration as well as self exploration.  

If this post sparks any thoughts feel free to leave some comments.

Thanks.

Thriving not surviving, day 4

I got asked a question today by Nattily Sission “what is my definition of location independence?”

Well I feel that I have two answers to her question.

Internal freedom and external freedom.

1. Is based on self reliance.
2. Is based on thriving where ever I am.

Part one: To put it simply we are already location independent.

I want to point out is that anyone that is looking at a travelling lifestyle, or location independent one, can already do that and probably already has, they Just call it a holiday.

Yay you have location independence.

People are already location independent they just don’t realise it.

All they need is to realise is that once you decide on something you can make it happen. If you want to go travelling, do it, just put a plan in place and make it happen.

However, the flip side to this is most people feel trapped and don’t want to think about breaking free, through fear of what might happen.

People (especially in the western world) don’t realise how free they actually are. But fear keeps them bound to their jobs and in their towns and cities.

If you look at the big picture of your life and in a factual (not fearful) way, you realise that you are alive and that you have overcome every obstacle life has thrown at you. You have adapted and overcome all your issues up until now. That’s a pretty cool achievement.

I’m hoping your feeling a bit more optimistic about yourself. Do you feel more free? Do you feel you can go anywhere and do anything? I hope so! Because whether you believe it or not you can do it.

So to summarise that motivational rant: If you feel self reliant you can do or go anywhere and survive. So I am already location independent.

Part two: is about thriving not surviving. I could go to Australia tomorrow and get a job that I barely survive at. But I want to go and do what I want to do, from where ever I want.

I think this is a more effective question. What does it mean to me, to do what I love, from where ever I am? Now we are getting somewhere.

What it means to me is to have fun at whatever I’m doing, whilst making a great living and helping others to do the same. My goal in life is to make people feel powerful in themselves. I can do that by blogging or talking to them face to face. So as far as my life goal is concerned I’m global already by having this blog.

However, I want to travel more. I want to see it all and do it all. So this is where my challenges come in. I want to start earning money from my blogging and other activities so that I can travel the world doing what I love. This is personal freedom and location freedom, internal and external, the whole package.

So to answer Nattily’s question. My definition of location independence is, having the attitude and abilities to thrive from where ever I am in the world.

Thank you.

If you like it leave a comment, if not leave one too
🙂

My definition of freedom day 3.

My definition of freedom starts in the mind. We have to free the mind before anything else can be free.

We have all heard the stories about rich people being unhappy, that is because they are trapped by fears and limitations. Maybe they are living the life their parents set out for them and not their own, For fear of upsetting them.

First of all we have to see ourselves as capable of achieving anything. We make a decision that we are going to change or do something different. We don’t have to believe it but we do have to want a change or something better. Maybe we see someone who is similar to us leading a happier life. This is developing our awareness around what we want. Then we start to get rid of any limiting beliefs or fears that are holding us back and then we can start putting in place steps towards what we really want.

I’m not saying spend years in therapy to analyze all your fears. I’m saying keep pushing forward and face your fears, bit by bit the most important fears come up that are in your way and bit by bit you get rid of the exact things in your way. Only by moving forward you get rid of what’s holding you back.

Both these things happen at the same time. The more you move forward, with awareness, towards what you think makes you happy now the more you get rid of your fears and limitations. Your self reliance grows and so does yourself belief you start to make bigger decisions and become happier and happier

Then we start with the materialistic stuff like a fun job, time freedom and location independence.

What may actually be most freeing for me is actually making a difference to people’s lives. I would definitely feel that I’d be emotionally trapped in a job, just for the sake of money if I wasn’t helping people.

The things that will free me up emotionally the most will be seeing my efforts having a positive effect on the world. I can only do that by living my life to the fullest

So in a way this post has helped me to gain a bit more clarity on what I want and what is possible.

And that is helping people is a must and that anything is possible with a bit of awareness and persistence

What to do with my life? blog challenge day 2

The question to today’s blog challenge is simple, but also one of the hardest things to answer for everyone. If I woke up tomorrow and could do anything I wanted what would I do and who would I be.

This is a bit of a top tip, for you, to join in as well. Pick someone you admire and ask yourself the question what would I do if I was them.

This is the quickest way to get around your own limitations and fantasise without any restrictions.

The people I most admire are Richard Branson and Rob Drydek. I admire both of them for pretty much the same reasons, but each of them execute their values in different ways.

Both of them live with enthusiasm, one is quiet and one is out spoken. You can figure out who’s who easily enough.

So back to my fantasy, if I was Richard Branson, I would be investing in people, I’d be educating them to feel powerful and to live without limitations. All our limitations are self inflicted and by being Richard Branson I’d be able to communicate that to a broad audience, hopefully making as many people in the world feel as powerful as possible.

I’d start developing schools that empowered children and adults to think effectively and become responsible for their own lives. Current schooling tells kids to sit down and we will tell you what you have to learn. Where as effective learning and life teach you to learn what you have to learn as you go along, on your way to your goals, all other information is irrelevant for now.

Imagine if you where taught all your life how to go for your own happiness, not told a bunch of English poems that you will never ever use.

Also I’d like to invest in environmentally beneficial companies to start cleaning up the environment.

I’d really like to live the most epic adventure ever. Buy a bus and go travel the world and do all the craziest stuff possible. I feel by doing this and sharing it, people will be attracted to it and by proxy learn some cool stuff.

Actually now that I’m saying this stuff out loud, so to speak, I’m kind of starting the empowerment thing already. Maybe I just need to start making this pay hmmmmmm?

Anyway I’ve come to realise that a lot of what is stopping me is purely self doubt, so bit by bit I’m learning and bit by bit I’m growing, eventually I’ll be an unstoppable force on this planet and sharing some epic adventures of my own.

Essentially I want to be a person without limits who can be a positive impact on this planet.

As to what I’m going to do to bridge the gap between me and my billions, I have no idea. But I’ll figure that out and it will be fun.

From abysmal failure rises, Blog Challenge Number 2

This is my second attempt at this 7 day challenge which I’m actually really grateful for.

As the saying goes no body fails only their plans and tactics do. Mine definitely did, so here I go with my excuses. First and foremost, I lost sight of the target and as a result I lost the momentum.

This time around I’m going to have my head on a bit better and set a goal for this 30 day challenge.

This is the most important bit, read my goal every morning and every evening and have a bit of a fantasise about it. Now that I’m saying this it’s reminding me of the book “Think and Grow Rich”. Great book! Read it!!! Essentially it teaches you how to keep your emotional energy high for the achievement of goals.

Excuse number 2. I’m also late starting this challenge. One of the big things that distracted me over the past 5 weeks, or so, since I dropped the first challenge, is that my Mam broke her hand, so I’ve been running around after her. So the cast should be off her hand in a week which will free me up for the rest of this challenge. So all guns will be blazing and I’ll be getting my posts oot daily.

Why I started this blog and this challenge. Nice and simple, I’ve over come some of the biggest challenges in life. That sounds grandiose, but believe it or not they all boil down to one thing, a feeling of lack, which leads to poor self belief and poor self esteem.

Through years of personal development, I’ve learnt a lot about myself and I can see a lot of similarities between the shit I went through and what a lot of other people are going through now. So hopefully I can get a bit of a conversation going, generate some ideas and hopefully help some people have an easier and more enthusiastic life.

So my goal and my plan for this new adventure in blogging, is keep life simple while I’m doing it.

Because I’m really enthusiastic about everything, I’m worse than a dog chasing a laser beam. So the plan is to keep focused on this blog challenge and do my daily routine without overloading myself with too many other sparkly things. KISS 😉
Even writing this is making me excited for day two and I can feel the momentum building.To keep on target I’ll be reading my goals and maybe writing them each morning and night. This will keep me laser focused not focused on a moving laser. Yeoo.

I’m excited for tomorrow because I’ll have an opportunity to catch up on the day I missed and be back up the front of the class.

Wish me luck.