This is a post about Fear, not danger, danger is real, Fear is not.
What fear is not real? But I feel it. It must be real. No / yes ehhhhh I’m confused.
This is a bit of a melter to get your head around, but the truth is, fear is not real.
Do you feel fear, when you go and watch a scary film? Yes you do, but is the film real? No it is not.
Well if we name it correctly and call it an emotional response to an imaginary situation it just doesn’t seem as disempowering.
I find by naming this emotional response it actually creates a disempowering situation, it becomes a thing, solid and real, like you have to do something about it. It becomes tangible. But It’s just a response to an imaginary situation.
I’m sure I’ll get loads of people saying, “what if I was in a war situation and someone is firing at me”. That is real and being full of adrenaline at that moment is perfectly appropriate. That is danger that is real.
What is the difference then? Fear is worrying about the “what if’s” running scenarios that may go wrong, not will go wrong. They are projections into the future? In other words assumptions based on limited knowledge. They are disempowering stories we tell ourselves.
An example is, people who are afraid of flying, they are afraid of the plane potentially crashing, that’s understandable. But why is it paralysing them now? They haven’t even booked their ticket? Because, they are making it real, by playing the worst case scenario in their heads, now. It’s what could go wrong, not what will go wrong, its imaginary, and that imaginary situation is driving an emotional response.
Cookers kill more people every year in the UK than Aircraft, because ZERO people were killed in the UK last year from Aircraft. So what is the difference?
The mad thing is, that every time you walk into the kitchen you are in DANGER, but why do we not fear cookers? Basically we do not tell ourselves a story leading up to cooking, that this may kill us. Pretty much every minute of every day you are in danger, but why do we not live in complete fear all the time (well most of us don’t) because we do not think about what could go wrong and just focus on what we can do in each moment. We do not tell ourselves disempowering stories (worry) all day long.
If something happens we will deal with it, but up until then there is no point in thinking about it.
So what is fear? As the acronym says, False Expectations Appearing Real F.E.A.R or in other words (mine) a Bulshit story we are telling ourselves.
Nice and simply. Fear is not real, it is just a story. So what story do you actually want to play in your head in future? One that empowers you or disempowers you?
Tune in in a few days for the next instalment.
I’d love to hear what you think about this post.