Congruency with self.

Emotional congruency is everything in an effective person’s life.

If you ignore your feelings, you will get sick, tired, confused and ultimately live a hollow life.

What we all want is feelings. No one wants things, they want the feelings things give them. security freedom or even love.

When you are congruent with yourself you have more health, vitality, clarity and greater capacity to take action.

How do we do this? by listening to ourselves, not operating out of what we think life should be, like what our parents and society say we should do. But by listening deep and connecting with your heart and guts to find that connection to yourself and your passions. We can only gain this by un learning what society says and listening to what our truth says.

We may be sick of our life, we may be depressed, unhappy or worse. That is simply your feelings saying I don’t like this, and they will get louder and louder. If you ignore them it will only go one way.

If you listen, then you have a choice, you get to get really clear about what you don’t like, and then make decisions towards what you do. But this only comes from being in tune with yourself. This is what being conscious is.

This is not a mental exercise this is a feeling exercise. We only have one brain and that is our whole body. Every cell is giving us information to discern what is going on for us. we put our hand on the cooker and our hand sends a thought up our arm saying this is hot or safe.

Use all of your intelligence that is your whole body. This is your place of power!

Building Rewards Into My Day.

I give myself the title of employee of the month. 

For me I could not feel pleasure from my actions school and my parents bet that out of me. I was always criticized something was always wrong with everything I did. Everything became painful.

So, I shut down.

So now I have to rewire myself the way I think and feel.

Action can be pleasurable and rewarding. I am in a process of defining that and acknowledging myself and this is the process I’m going through.

Imagine you want to get fitter. Your doing that because of one of two drivers, a desire for more pleasure or away from the pain of being unfit, unhealthy. So that want is driven by desire for pleasure or away from pain.

What happens if you constantly move away from pain with out defining what you actually desire in a pleasurable sense, this is what un-consciousness is, reacting never proacting.

What happens when you have suffered a lot of criticism, well then everything becomes painful even your proactive stuff. It becomes un rewarding. This is what has happened me over the past few years. I was doing lots of proactive things. But none of it was worth it in the end, so I ran out of energy and desire, because none of it was coming back to me. no joy, no pleasure, no rewards, nothing, I ran out of everything, mentally emotionally and financially.

So now I’m building myself back up again, but with a focus on pleasure and rewarding myself. I personally believe this is the key everyone is missing. Our school system beats this out of us. School was abuse for me and I don’t use the word abuse in a light sense at all.

So, I’ve had to retrain every aspect of myself to focus on what works. If you want any body to do more of anything praise them. But we have all given people complements and they have deflected them because of their own self-image. Because they feel not good enough because they have been trained to look at the one thing, they didn’t do perfect, instead of how far they have come and how much they have learned. They need to praise themselves. And how we do that is by getting ourselves and others to see the truth, not the one imperfection.

E.g. Yea its not perfect, but I learned this this, and this, and this is what we can do next time to improve and grow. That is a progressive statement its focused-on growth and improvement and as a result that dialogue creates empowerment and pleasure.

My days are looking more and more like this. Building pleasure into them focusing on what I’ve done and how I have grown.

I am waking up doing morning gratitude primarily for myself and the rest of the things I’m grateful for.

I’m grateful for my health and wealth and bed and body and how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown, I’m grateful for all the support I have and I’m grateful for what is to come today. And so on.

This gears my energy up to focus on what works and what is more pleasurable.

I work out most mornings and I’m working on building that to every morning. But every day is different, and this is something I’m growing. This just gets my body in gear and feeling good.

This is the most important bit for me. is logging what I have done at the end of the day. Really acknowledging all the things like spending an hour driving and listening to an audio book that is a tiny win but without acknowledging it we are essentially neglecting ourselves. For me I was totally ignoring myself and logging all these little things really makes me feel good at the end of the day just before bed.

My feelings of not doing enough, good enough and feelings of self-criticism go straight out the door because I can see how full my days are.

Even writing this blog post is a win for me now. 

Thank you. 

Thought is virtually meaningless.

The structure of how we actually process the world.

1. Feel to think, think to feel.
2. Desire is the mother of thought.

My goal is to have $100,000 invested so I am financially free and able to do whatever I want when I want, which is live in the sun and travel.

This goal looks like what I want is $100,000, but what I actually desire, what is actually motivating me and all my actions is the feeling of freedom fun and adventure.

The $100,000 is just a tool to get me there.

The feeling of desire the feeling of freedom is actually what is giving me clarity on what I want (the thing) but it is the feeling that is doing all the work.

We all have million dollar thoughts all the time, but we have no desire to put them into action and because of lack of desire, they are meaningless. The meaning is given by the feeling.

By feeling to think, we find what we really want, what we really desire and as a result, we then have the thoughts that can put that desire into action.

To me now its 95% feeling and only 5% thought.

This matches the universal model of Be, Do, Have if you can “be” with your feelings you will find out what is most effective for you to “do” and then you will “have” what you truly want.

This is why we hear the story of people who are successful not BEing happy, because they did what they “thought” would make them happy, instead of listening to themselves and figuring out what will actually make them happy now.

This is why so many people meditate first thing is to calm down their thinking for the day. This is why we run to ground ourselves and feel better so we can think better.

This has been my biggest challenge because I’ve had so much trauma in my body that I was completely out of my Base and Sacral Chakra. From personal experience if you are not in these you cannot feel desire, pleasure, things will be meaningless, and you will not be able to take action because you can not feel which idea is better.

Things will make logical sense, but you will have no pleasurable feeling to motivate you no desire to drive you and as a result, you will do the next thing that is of most value to you. Which is usually a distraction of some sort.

Desire is the foundations of everything in the universe. If you did not desire, you will not want, if you do not want, you will not get any ideas or thoughts, you will just exist.

These desires come from our base chakra and sacral chakra.  If you are not in these you will not feel any desires wants or pleasure.

Control, Emotions and the Stock Market

Repeatedly you hear that you have to control your emotions in the stock market. I think this is actually non-sense. Control is such a reactive word and it makes you fearful of your emotions and if you are fearful of your emotions you are being controlled by them.

In my experience you cannot control your emotions, we can try to ignore them, but that will only get you so far and you will get very confused and waste a lot of energy, even sick.

Through reading lots of books on investing I see the top investors have learned to work with their emotions, but emotions like the markets can not be controlled. They ebb and flow depending on the stimulus and information that is available. Ray Dalio meditates twice a day, not to control his emotions, but to take that time to clear his body and mind so he can function optimally.

Our emotions are always giving us feedback. That feedback is always I like that, or I don’t like that. We give those two feelings all sorts of names, but if we boil it down to the bare minimum we will see that that is it.

How do you know what you want until you feel it? How do you know what you don’t want until you feel it? These two feelings come up as pleasure and pain. Excessive amounts of both will lead us into trouble.

Who do you want to be? Some one who is torn apart with stress, or someone that surfs the waves of energy.

I tried to control my emotions for many years and got very un-well as a result. The stress on my system trying to control them tore my body apart. I was ignoring my stress, my issues, they just built up and up until I broke.

If you are trying to control your emotions, you are being controlled by your emotions because you are constantly in reaction to them, you constantly have to fight them every day and that wastes energy and focus, when you could be working with your emotions.

What would happen if you where not emotionally caught up in the stock market? Would you be a better trader? What does it feel like to be caught up in the markets? Stressful? What would happen if you took a step back and gave your self some space and relaxed? Would your mind become more clear because your emotions / feedback would have told you i don’t like being caught up in the markets.

We do not have good and bad emotions all our emotions all of the time are looking out for us and giving us feedback, it may be painful, but it is always empowering. We just need to learn how to listen.

What is your intuition, but a feeling? what is a hunch, but a feeling? what is hot and cold but a feeling. We get feedback from our feelings all the time. If something doesn’t feel right, its saying pay attention.

So back to control, why would you want to control all this feedback? have you ever just got a feeling someone wasn’t telling the truth, or holding something back? Was that feeling valuable?

Emotions are going to do what they are going to do! They come up and go just like the waves in the ocean, you can either fight them and waste energy or you can work with them and surf.

The more we relax, the more we feel, the more we feel the more we can process, the more effective we become and ultimately make better decisions. :

So what would happen if you decided to start listening to your emotions? What would happen?

How does this apply to the stock market? If you are not listening to your pleasures and pains, you are not getting feedback from your environment! You are not utilizing all the most effective information that is available to you?

If a trade is going against you, what do you feel? Does that pain empower you to think differently?

Are there traders who feel calm when the market is going down? Does your pain force you to ask the question, what are they doing differently?

What does that tell you? What is that feeling telling you? It is saying pay attention to me. I am telling you I don’t like this. let’s do something different. It is your job to start thinking at this point to become more effective in your investing.

George Soros is a good example when his back starts hurting him, he knows something is off in the market for him and he pulls out of his positions.

Warren buffet has had enough pain to where he has learned to for him to be most effective it is to invest long term. He also likes doing trades that are so simple and easy that its like taking candy off a baby. His pleasures and pains have guided him to where he is for the most part happy.

What would happen you if you started listening to your feelings and started writing them down? Would you slow down? would you step out of the emotion of the market? Would you learn something new? Would you be able to make clearer decisions, if you slowed down and stepped back from the market?

Does Warren Buffett get caught up in the emotions of the markets?

Would you stop fighting with yourself and start working with yourself fully

 

When our mind and emotions are aligned we become vastly more effective!

Our emotions give us feedback we like something, or we don’t. They raise red flags for us to pay attention to what we like and don’t. They are calling us to be more aware all the time.

What ways can you step back from the markets and become more present and get all the feedback available to you. How can you become more present, aware and not caught up in the markets?

Its really simple listen to the whole of you! if you are listening to you you are not listening to the market! Relax into your body and take a deep breath and get the feedback.

 

 

How to be present!

How feeling is listening.

Have you ever felt static electricity from a balloon on your skin or hair?

Have you ever felt hot or cold on or in your body?

Have you ever felt, as a child, when you get into your parent’s house, you open the door, and all of a sudden, you realize you’re in trouble?

Have you ever felt the warm welcoming feeling of your parent’s house even when they are not there?

Have you ever been given directions to a new place and as you drive up the road, you feel that you should turn or stop?

Have you ever felt, some one is not telling you everything?

Have you ever felt, some one is angry or upset?

Have you ever felt, that you said the wrong thing?

We hear a lot in the world about being present, but what is that, if you have never experienced it? We have all experienced it, just we never knew what it was.

All those questions above, are to bring you the memory of feelings where you have been present.

Feelings are present, they are now. When we learn to listen to our feelings, we are being present.

What is going on in your body now? What do you feel? Feel your feet on the ground, relax and feel fully into your whole body, take a deep breath and feel deeper into your body. Listen to what is going on and what do you feel?

All the time our body is giving us feedback on what is going on in our environment. Sometimes we get gut feelings, that something is right for us or not. What is that feeling? Is it intuition?

How do we know we like or love someone?

What is stress actually telling us? Have you ever listened to it? What would happen if you listened to your stress? Have you ever told your stress or problems to someone else, who listened to you and as a result you felt better? Where you able to see the situation more effectively once you did? Did that stress empower you to learn, grow, to connect and improve? Did that stress just say I don’t like a certain thing, lets do something about it?

The process is simple. We do not control our emotions! The come and go as they please, like waves on the ocean we can either fight them or work with them.  How do you feel if you are ignored, more or less emotive? haha? How do you feel when you are listened to? More or less emotive? What would happen if we stopped trying to control our emotions and actually listened to ourselves?We only have two emotions and its not good and bad ones, those two words are actually judgement’s, all emotions are empowering. They are always saying one of two things, I like that, or I don’t like that, or in more effective words, I’d like something else / different. So, because our feelings are telling us through pleasure and pain, that we like or don’t like things, they are guiding us towards what we do want, all the time. So, they are always looking out for us and caring for us. So, they are always empowering us. as long as we learn to listen.

What is loving yourself? Its such a vague statement! How do you feel when you are listened to deeply, by your friends or partners? Do you feel appreciated, acknowledged, cared for, valued or loved? So is listening to yourself fully loving yourself?

What would happen if you listened to yourself every day? Would you feel more present grounded. simply take a deep breath and listen to your body now what is it telling you?

 

 

 

 

 

Winning and losing in the stock market.

 

I feel there is a misconception in the investing world that there are winners and losers, but this goes further than just investing it goes into life!

If some one is winning some one is losing, but I just can’t see that.

If I buy one stock off one person, who is happy to sell it to me and I sel

l it to someone else who is happy to buy it off me, I am being of service, I am not winning or losing. I am just making decisions that work for me.

I am not responsible for other people and their decisions, if they are not happy with it after they buy it off me, that is their decision, but again I haven’t competed with any one, it is a free market. They could of bought it off millions of other people, at millions of other times. So, at that very moment he was happy I am not pulling one over on any one. If some one buys great if not I’m left with my decisions.

Do people lose in the stock market yes 100% they do, but am I in their race? No not at all!!! I am in my own race!!

To explain this further. If I was to come second or even come last in a race with Usain Bolt would I be a winner or loser. Well to me I’d be winning I’d be just happy to get that experience. So, in my world I would be a winner! Or in other words happy!

So, who are we competing with? actually no one. We create a story in our mind that there is a competition because people win and lose in their race, but we are not in their race.

So, what is the competition? or is there one at all? Well I want to improve every day that is the only challenge I have. So, I am only really racing against myself.

So, what does these concepts of winning and losing do for us? what would happen if we dropped the idea of competition altogether and started looking at what is really there. Let’s drop the lenses of winning and losing.

If I make a trade and it does not do what I want it to do, have I lost? Am I a loser? I know if I learn a valuable lesson I become wiser and I’m more able to make better decisions the next time. Do i like it? no, but i am not a loser!

So, do I win by learning? or do I win by my trades making me money? I don’t win anything either way there is nothing to win there are only lessons.

Now what does the stock market look like to you?

The way I look at things now is, how can I grow? Winning comes from insecurity wanting to be better than someone and losing is the same. But who cares? no one else does.

My goal is to become more and more effective. I know if I constantly aim to be more effective I’ll be looking at the market for what it is! an opportunity to grow, mentally, emotionally and financially. If it goes up I win, if it goes down I win, I’m always winning, because my goal has nothing to do with any one else and is focused on what is going to get me the results I want in the long term.

Pain and pleasure are real, winning and losing are not. Yes, I feel pain when I don’t have a great trad but how I make that feel better is by learning. But if I believe in winning and losing trades, I’ll feel like a loser and not learn, that will only go into developing some sort of self-image as a trader.

 

So, by setting our focus on what is effective, we see the world through a completely different lenses, one that works and empowers us!

Where else in life is this relevant to you?

The two things that stop you from having what you want.

If you understand this post, you will see how this is exactly how you got everything in your life. If you understand this post, you will have the keys to everything you want in your future.

Spend time really thinking about this, Spend time really feeling this. Challenge yourself to feel what is really going on in you, because this is it. This is the only thing you will ever do to achieve everything you ever want. Be that enlightenment or billions of dollars!!

The two things that stop you from having what you want.

1. Lack of clarity,
2. Emotions.

The one thing that empowers us is our story that enables us to create a flow towards what you want.

If you want to be a millionaire the only thing that is stopping you is lack of clarity. If you knew how to do it you’d be a millionaire already.

Now I am just using millionaire as an example, you could want to be a whale scientist if you want.

Once we decide on anything, (to be a millionaire) a question pops up instantly. Who or what or why or where or when or how. In this case how will I make a million?

These are clarification questions. If you keep asking them you will eventually get what you want.

The clearer we get on what we want the more we believe it can happen. If you

want to be a millionaire and don’t know how that it is going to happen, you feel doubt. But if you go to a millionaire and ask them how they made their millions then it becomes more believable. As you can see the clearer you get the more you believe.

Belief does not come first, Clarity does😊

The only thing that holds you back from achieving what you want is your

emotions. If you have a conflict in you from when you are a child like your parents always saying, “there is never enough money”” money does not grow on trees” and so on this plays in the background. So, if you say I want to be a millionaire and that is exciting this underlying story will pull at your good feelings and undermine your energy.

So, by stepping forward we then find out what is holding us back. The exact thing that is holding us back comes up. So, by stepping forward we get an opportunity to listen to ourselves and create a greater flow of energy. By listening to ourselves we can see what is true and not.

If you are feeling dis-empowered you are always telling a lie. You have overcome everything in your life to this point? How does that feeling feel? Do you feel Empowered or dis-empowered? If you are not feeling good from saying I’ve overcome everything in my life, then you are lying to yourself because you have, so that emotion that is making you feel bad and is obviously not telling the truth.

Now that we are starting to pay more attention to how we feel we can start feeling what is going to move us forward in the most effective way. We do that by the stories we tell ourselves. When we say I can you are always telling the truth and when we say I can’t we are always lying. Someone somewhere has done more or less what you want to do. No one is 100% original. So, if someone has done it you can too. So, by saying I can your energy flows when we say I can’t we feel dis-empowered.

But we must feel what is going on in us at the same time as what we are thinking. Our emotion drive us forward. If you have an issue with self-belief and you feel you can’t saying you can just doesn’t feel right. We must feel our emotion at this point we have to care about them because they are us. they are always looking out for us and caring about us. so, if we try to bulldoze them we are bulldozing ourselves. Once we start listening to our emotions we are loving ourselves. We are also being extremely smart because our emotions give us much more feedback about situations than we can consciously perceived. We have all had the experience of something just not feeling right and us ignoring it. 😊

So, when we create the story in partnership with our feelings we then create flow. This can be a challenge sometimes and we may need to do some emotional digging but this is what is going to give us the most fun and freedom in our life.

When we become more clear externally we become more clear internally and more In-tune with ourselves then we are creating the stories that will empower us to live epic lives.

Got to go a bit deeper!

This week in the Malahide Epic Life group we got to go a bit deeper.

We have all overcome everything in our life. That is the truth. We learn and grow every day. That is the truth. Once you realize that the only thing that is holding you back, is the belief in words not things.

If you believe in the word failure, you believe failure exists. There have been many things I have not finished, because it got to the point where it wasn’t interesting any more, or just became too much effort. I learned, I didn’t want to put more effort into it.

There is no failure there is pain and there are lessons, but there is no failure. Even if something kills you in the process, you learn, it’s too dangerous, at that point. But you didn’t fail!

In school and exams, the failure point is 40% that just shows you got 40% right and need to work on the rest. You didn’t actually fail you got 40% right. Even if you only get one right, you got one right and need to work on the rest. You can re-do that test infinitely, until you get all of it right, if you want. Who defines the failure point in some a pass is 80 or 90%? so failure is just a made up thing it changes all the time because it does not exist.

How many times have you felt a failure because something wasn’t perfect. How many times have you seen people happy with less than perfect results?

So the belief in this word, actually creates a block, and also creates an opportunity for you to diminish your self image, based on this word that does not exist, in the real world.

I am a failure. I had this belief in me. I failed everything at school. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I realized school failed me, not the other way around. I was not a failure, I survived a system, that is literally set up to diminish self-esteem. The teaching system didn’t work for me.

We are constantly growing and improving, so is everything in the universe is too. That is the truth. There is no end there is no failure. Things don’t work and we learn and grow. Super simple.

You have always been learning and growing. Never ever have you failed.

So the belief in this word / concept is what is holding so many back. We all want things to work out, but having a fear of it not working out, (fear of failure) or fear of not being good enough, blinds you to the reality of who we are. You have grown today, things haven’t worked out for you today, you simply learnt and changed your approach.

Just like driving a car down a wrong road, you simply turned around and went the right way. No failure, just lessons and growth.

What holds all of us back is the belief in words. Like fear and failure. They simply do not exist. But our story of them does, and you can drop that in a second.

Just like the story of your self-image. You are always growing, that is the truth. All the other stories are BS!! Anything other than I am awesome and I’ve overcome everything in my life, is not true. It is the same for everyone else.

Improve you language and instantly become more effective internally and externally.

Best regards,

Miller.

Let’s be real!

I want to talk about confidence and happiness. People all over the world are striving for these things, that are made up, mental constructs, that create illusion.

In other words… words things we believe to be real that are not.

How do you feel when you say I want to be happy? What are you really saying?

How do you feel when you say I
want to be more confident? What are you actually saying?

Those words cause judgment and disempowerment. The belief in things that are not real causes illusion.

We have all seen people with confidence, we have all experienced happiness, but both of them are not things. They actually do not exist.

Are you confident at making a cup of tea? Are you confident at driving your car? Both of these get a yes. But at what point did you become this thing called confident? I can tell you now, you didn’t ever achieve this thing called confident. You just stopped doubting yourself. You stopped that dialogue in your mind and just stopped thinking about it, you are just being you.

What people see as confidence is just people being themselves, without doubt. But it is not confidence, that word gives the illusion, that something exists and that we need to achieve it to be happy.

Whereas, when we do something we enjoy, we want to put effort into it and as a result become better at it.  We automatically become confident and happy as we are doing this real thing.

Those words happy and confident are the result of something, not the result we are aiming for.

The aim of this post is to see how words can blind us, to what is real. I want to be happy is so abstract and vague, that you can not do anything with it. The word confidence causes judgment externally and internally. They are so confident, I am not.

When we talk about what is real. I enjoy good conversation. You can do something with that. You can go find good conversation.

Those words are so destructive, but well intentioned. I do not want to be happy, or confident! I want to do real things, that give me real experiences and talk about real stuff.

When you talk about real stuff, you become clear, your energy picks up and you start to be happy and confident!

 

 

 

 

Can you know anything?

The greatest power you will ever develop, is the power of not knowing.

Knowledge blinds you to what is real, once you know something, you stop seeing it for what it really is and you start seeing it for what you think it is.

If we look at a chair, what is that to a baby? they don’t know the word chair yet, so they see it for what it really is, an infinite possibility. They will climb on it and use it in so many different ways, that we can not even imagine.

But what is a chair to us? well its something to sit on. But what is it really? Well we have all used it as a table at one point, or another, so is it a table?

What a chair is, is a story. That story is “something to sit on” so through conditioning we end up seeing it through that lens of words and stories, which then restricts us, in how we see it.

But what is it really? Is it metal, wood or even molecules or atoms. Ultimately we get to the point where we call it “energy” but that is still a word. That word is layered on top of it, but that word is not what it is. it is infinite possibilities.

We could, in two seconds, put that chair on a wall and call it art? like our imagination it is infinite possibilities.

So can you  really know what it is? as far as I can tell, we can not know what it is. We can not know what anything is. Let that sink in.

Where in your life are you sure of things, or where do you believe in things. Are you sure about yourself now? Who are you? What are you? are you your story?

They are all stories they are all words and they are all not what the situation or thing really is.

Do you know yourself? are you smart or dumb? is that true? can you know for certain?

This is the magic of not knowing. Once we really, really connect, with the understanding that we can not know anything, then we are free. We are free from the story that we are something, or we should be something. Ultimately we can not be anything, because things do not exist. Things are just words, and they are not what reality really is. They are just words.

Imagine you are not what you think you are, you are not what your life experiences have been and you are not a victim or victor, because they are all stories. You are what experienced them. But you are not them.

It is your choice to attach to those stories or not. to play them or not. you are in charge of that.

if you can not know anything then you are free to create everything. you are free to attach to the stories that empower you and drive you forward. You are now free to be a master of every thing in your world. Because you can now manipulate every story there is.

By not knowing, you now know every-thing.

Have an awesome day.