Congruency with self.

Alignment congruency connecting to self.

Emotional congruency is everything in an effective person’s life.

If you ignore your feelings, you will get sick, tired, confused and ultimately live a hollow life.

What we all want is feelings. No one wants things, they want the feelings things give them. security freedom or even love.

When you are congruent with yourself you have more health, vitality, clarity and greater capacity to take action.

How do we do this? by listening to ourselves, not operating out of what we think life should be, like what our parents and society say we should do. But by listening deep and connecting with your heart and guts to find that connection to yourself and your passions. We can only gain this by un learning what society says and listening to what our truth says.

We may be sick of our life, we may be depressed, unhappy or worse. That is simply your feelings saying I don’t like this, and they will get louder and louder. If you ignore them it will only go one way.

If you listen, then you have a choice, you get to get really clear about what you don’t like, and then make decisions towards what you do. But this only comes from being in tune with yourself. This is what being conscious is.

This is not a mental exercise this is a feeling exercise. We only have one brain and that is our whole body. Every cell is giving us information to discern what is going on for us. we put our hand on the cooker and our hand sends a thought up our arm saying this is hot or safe.

Use all of your intelligence that is your whole body. This is your place of power!

How to be present!

How feeling is listening.

Have you ever felt static electricity from a balloon on your skin or hair?

Have you ever felt hot or cold on or in your body?

Have you ever felt, as a child, when you get into your parent’s house, you open the door, and all of a sudden, you realize you’re in trouble?

Have you ever felt the warm welcoming feeling of your parent’s house even when they are not there?

HListenave you ever been given directions to a new place and as you drive up the road, you feel that you should turn or stop?

Have you ever felt, some one is not telling you everything?

Have you ever felt, some one is angry or upset?

Have you ever felt, that you said the wrong thing?

We hear a lot in the world about being present, but what is that, if you have never experienced it? We have all experienced it, just we never knew what it was.

All those questions above, are to bring you the memory of feelings where you have been present.

Feelings are present, they are now. When we learn to listen to our feelings, we are being present.

pexels-photo-267967.jpegWhat is going on in your body now? What do you feel? Feel your feet on the ground, relax and feel fully into your whole body, take a deep breath and feel deeper into your body. Listen to what is going on and what do you feel?

All the time our body is giving us feedback on what is going on in our environment. Sometimes we get gut feelings, that something is right for us or not. What is that feeling? Is it intuition?

How do we know we like or love someone?

man-person-people-emotions.jpgWhat is stress actually telling us? Have you ever listened to it? What would happen if you listened to your stress? Have you ever told your stress or problems to someone else, who listened to you and as a result you felt better? Where you able to see the situation more effectively once you did? Did that stress empower you to learn, grow, to connect and improve? Did that stress just say I don’t like a certain thing, lets do something about it?

The process is simple. We do not control our emotions! The come and go as they please, like waves on the ocean we can either fight them or work with them.  How do you feel if you are ignored, more or less emotive? haha? How do you feel when you are listened to? More or less emotive? What would happen if we stopped trying to control our emotions and actually listened to ourselves?I like i don't likeWe only have two emotions and its not good and bad ones, those two words are actually judgement’s, all emotions are empowering. They are always saying one of two things, I like that, or I don’t like that, or in more effective words, I’d like something else / different. So, because our feelings are telling us through pleasure and pain, that we like or don’t like things, they are guiding us towards what we do want, all the time. So, they are always looking out for us and caring for us. So, they are always empowering us. as long as we learn to listen.

What is loving yourself? Its such a vague statement! How do you feel when you are listened to deeply, by your friends or partners? Do you feel appreciated, acknowledged, cared for, valued or loved? So is listening to yourself fully loving yourself?

What would happen if you listened to yourself every day? Would you feel more present grounded. simply take a deep breath and listen to your body now what is it telling you?

 

 

 

 

 

Your allowed have the best

School, parents, work, and money, all tell you can’t! Literally everything in the first 20 years of your life is set up to make you think you can’t, and then it all changes. Then the world starts to ask you, what do you want? What do you want to do with your life, with college, with your career?

You have been programmed from a very young age to believe in limitations, but those limitations are bulshit.a-different-perspective

What we are going to do in this course is evaporate those limitations, bit by bit each week, so that we can start to see ourselves for what we really are. We are creators of ourselves, our destiny and the world around us.

To do that we have to want things we have to have desires. Wants and desires have a bad reputation in our society, yet everything is based on them. Someone wanted to build the Eiffel Tower, now millions of people every year, flock to it, for the wonderment of it. Why? Just because they desire to!

I Love MeThis is something I have found shocking, and its shocking because I had to learn this myself. I am allowed to want things, I’m allowed to have things. Things like feeling good about myself, and as a result having nice things in my life.

I could always see that other people could have nice things, they deserved it but I didn’t.

How about you? How does this make you feel? Do you deserve nice things?

These things are different for everyone, but you are entitled to them.

It is really simple we all want the best for our lives. But we have to ask ourselves the question, what is the best for me? We have to break the conditioning that we have seen growing up, what our parents and society think is best for us. We have to start thinking for ourselves.

excitedI want the very best of everything I want to experience everything that life has to offer, I feel you do too. but what that is for you, is very different for me. At this time, I don’t want children, where as someone else would think that is the most insane thing ever. They would not be able to comprehend that, but what is best for them, is not best for me, at this moment, and that may change.

So what do you want for your life? Because your allowed have whatever you want!

I want an Epic Life I want to have fun every day,
and make a difference to the world.

Re-evaluating my goals.

My plan to speak at pendulum summit got derailed, for the past few months.

I set an audacious goal, and didn’t really know what I was getting myself in for.

Challenge-Accepted-2f2xs0v

Just like all goals, plan A didn’t work also plan b, c,d, and e. But now finally after trailing and fail-learning and a bit of de-motivation, I am getting the picture back of what I wanted 9 months ago.

I can see myself speaking on stage and the energy in the place being off the charts. I know the type of energy I want, because I’ve was a DJ, and I know when a place is electric. 3 or 4 thousand people, with a real drive, to be the best that they can be. Just even saying this pumps me up.

thinkbigger

I got derailed like every one, my goal was going to take a lot more effort than I thought. But that is the mark of a real goal. Something that will grow you. I had all the pieces but had no idea how long and how to put them together.

My naive assumption at the start of the year was, I’d put out a bunch of videos and get traction, and that was it. Haha. So funny now. Totally delusional. But again that is the mark of a true goal.

So, I’ve melted my own head over, and over, just like every entrepreneur, and it didn’t seem as much fun, as it originally did. It started feeling like it was going to be a lot of hard work.

Hard work

My plan originally was to do a bit of online marketing, and get a job with Pendulum Summit doing marketing, network with all the top people, and develop an opportunity that way.

What has come about, is I’ve had to start a media company, to build my own brand, which still doesn’t exist. So I’ve had to do a lot of study, and growing, than originally planned.

I started a meet up group,(The Epic Life Group) because I needed experience as an actual speaker. Yea that’s how delusional, this goal was. I fucking love it. Totally nuts.

Because I got disillusioned by the scale of things, my energy started to go, and I realized, I had a lot less time, than I originally thought. I was aiming to have all my stuff together at the end of the year, and I’d get a place to speak. But thanks to DJ and Journalist, Mark Kavanagh, I realized I had a lot less time. I actually had to get my shit together months in advance, because that is when they would finalize the lineup. Yea as I said I was delusional. Haha

Time

So through setting up the Meet-up group, that became much more interesting, and of much more value, than speaking at pendulum summit. I was getting in a small way, what I was aiming for in speaking at Pendulum.

Goo enemy.png

I said to myself, sure if I just build this group to thousands of people, I wont need pendulum.

So I carried on with that vision for a few months and had to think about growing the group, so I started reading lots of books, and marketing stuff, primarily @garyvee and today I realized, that I was struggling with my marketing message.

I realized that I had no direction, for what I was doing, I lost my north star. My vision had evaporated.

I was reading this stuff to grow the group, but to what end. It was vague and mushy.

Lost vision

Over the past few months, I had felt this vagueness, but I had no idea what it was. I went from being proactive, to just reading stuff that seemed like being productive, but it wasn’t leading anywhere.

I am reminded again, and again, that we have to have a north star, a destination, a goal because, that puts what we are doing, now, in context, and gives what we are doing, now, purpose.

north-star-filter

I was proactively lost.

I can even see it in the epic life group, I had lost that drive to grow, by being vague, and the group, I feel,could feel that too. Every bit of content I was putting out was great, but it lacked that bit of drive, and conviction, that direction. What we are all doing this for. We want epic lives, that is why, we are here, and that energy, was faltering.

doepicshit

I understand on a whole new level, the purpose of goals, so much more now. Goals are not to be attained, but they are there as tools to help you grow.

The goal itself is irrelevant, the journey is the most important thing. It is who you become as a result of your journey, that is most important. But! the goal gives you direction.

This goal has gone from being something fun, to something much more serious, it is now become a mark of my growth, as a man, a person, as a person who can make a difference, to his own life, and as a result the people around him.

The goal has gone from being a selfish one, to one that I hope will empower others.

Get over myself

I know now, that I am mad late, on speaking at pendulum, but miracles happen every day.

I am re-energized, and clear again on what I want to do, and why. We all go through these processes. If you are to take one thing away from this, is just keep going, keep moving forward, and things will become clear eventually.

Clear Vision Clear Reults

If  I had have stopped, I would not have a second chance now, and I gave myself that second chance.

Second chances

My energy and clarity is back.

I see myself in the Dublin Exhibition Center speaking to 3 thousand people, and bringing them on a journey that empowers the fuck out of them. I see the place going nuts, for themselves, because they will see how far, they have come, through my story.

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If I can be so delusional, and keep going, so can anyone. I can tell you now, I am 100% a better person for all the effort I have put in. Win, loose, or draw I have grown, and that is the real purpose of goals.

Feel awesome2

I can not go back to who I was, and one way or another, I am going to have better things because of this.

I look forward to meeting you on our Epic Journey’s

 

The most important thing, you could ever do!

Setting your mentality for the day.

Imagine waking up, and the first thing you notice, is how tired you still feel. Like that 8 hours of sleep, has just been a waste of time. You have just fucked up your sleep and you already feel like a looser.

In bed tired.

I have done this way too much. Starting off my days in completely the most dis-empowering way possible.

I’m sure you have heard, what I am about to say already, and it’s probably made sense to you.

What I want to ask you, is why haven’t you done it? I want you to ask yourself, why you haven’t done it?

why

I don’t feel like it, it’s too hard when I’m tired, I don’t think of it. whatever your complaints are I’ve used them. I have gotten into looser mode first thing.

What it boiled down to for me is, I didn’t put me, as high enough priority in my life. I was a whinger and a moaner.

51spHovQygL

I was going with the flow, wake up, and see what happens. No direction.

I knew all the right stuff, but wasn’t doing it, because, I just didn’t feel like it.

e6511e0dd7b4a8c6217e4eccd6f74bbc

I’d try it for a bit, and then let just let old ways win out.

Now, I want you to imagine, what it would be like, to feel awesome every day, grateful every day, and excited to see what happens?

All good things are the opposite side of effort. Even in the smallest way. You have to get up off your bum, to get an ice-cream from the fridge.

This is so important I’ll say it twice, “all good things are the opposite side of effort”.

So how can you expect to have a good day, if you don’t put any effort into it?

Hope is the most destructive thing, on this planet!

Hope gets you nothing! Effort gets you something!

What would happen if you put energy into your day? If you said, thank you, for a bed to lye, thank you, for the house that keeps me out of the wind. Be grateful for what ever you want.

Feel Awesome

Then you start creating how you want your day to go. I am going to meet this person and have an awesome time no matter what. We are going to have fun. I’m going to enjoy the drive to work today. What ever you want, you can choose how you want to feel about it.

Feel awesome2

Imagine taking charge of yourself and your day!! How awesome would that be? I can I willImagine putting effort into how much fun your life is going to be, just because you decided to?

Take 1 minute now and do this. Say with a smile on your face, feel silly and put real energy into it. I feel fantastic, I feel fantastic, I feel fantastic, the rest of today is going to be awesome! just pay attention to how you feel, now?
Drive that energy now, this is literally the most important thing, you could do for your, whole life,    Feel_Awesome-606x230 right now. Take full charge, and have an awesome day! Choose to feel better, choose to have fun, choose to feel awesome, now! you are in charge!

It’s your choice!

Connecting To Your Heart.

Over the past 6 months while I’ve been on this trip to speaking at Pendulum Summit I’ve been hit with a multitude of issues and whilst all of them have been a pain, they are good. They have focused me.

heart-462873The biggest thing I’ve learned (again) is that you have to do what you love. What I had to learn was how to get into my heart, actually connect with myself. Due to partying and the usual growing up traumas I cut myself off from my emotions. I was happy in my numb-ness, but this caused a huge problem I couldn’t connect with what I wanted. From the outside I was enthusiastic and trying new things, but each thing had no meaning, they were just interesting. When I decided to become a DJ, when I was 20 ish at a Fatboy slim concert, that was a huge emotional confirmation I WANT THIS nothing before, or since has had that effect on me. Everything was just so so. But DJing was a different story, I could be free.

Now after doing some serious soul searching and energetic clearing, I’ve been able to connect more and more with my heart, the mad thing is that connecting with your heart is so much harder, and easier than you could imagine.

heartbeat-163709If I look back at my life, well the last 16 years at least I kinda have been connected, but the context was all wrong. The only things that have interested me is mad things, like jumping out of planes, DJing to mad crowds, and just trying new things in general. I did not want a specific thing, “my heart’s desire”.

I always thought that my heart desire would be something like ending poverty. or feeding the homeless. But in reality what makes me excited, is strange, different, quirky, and mad things. new, new, different. I always thought that, that was just me, who I was, but that wasn’t what my heart’s desire was.

eyes-421781My heart’s desire is simply just “I like mad things” different, new, change.

I’ve come to realize that because my heart’s desire was so close, I could not see it. It is literally how I operated. It was literally what made me excited, enthusiastic, and curious. But what did I want to do with that. What could I do with that?

People are passionate about making money, they are passionate about blogging, making videos, entrepreneurship / business or some other thing. I was interested in these things, but my heart just wasn’t into it, so I just kept running out of steam, after the initial curiosity wore off.

So what does all this mean now? Well its changed things around for me. I don’t want things, I want experiences, that fill me full of enthusiasm, excitement, and feed my curiosity.fitness-540263

Understanding the feelings I wanted, helped me connect with what I wanted to do, to get them.

Our hearts desire is a feeling not a thing. This was a revelation to me. I wanted fun, as much fun as possible.

This enabled me to think about this whole thing another way. It enabled me to ask a better question!

landscape-640617I asked what will be the best way for me to get the most experiences, while having the most fun, and earning plenty of money. I came back around to blogging, but this time its blogging with a purpose, I want to have an epic life. I want to do it all. And I suspect you do too. But an awesome life for me, and for you are two different things. You may see an awesome life as having your own house and I see traveling as a much higher priority. But either way the process we go through will be the same.

I’ve come full circle on my goal for this year. I’m six months in, and I haven’t blogged in a month, because I got derailed. I got derailed because of one thing. I wasn’t connected to my heart, I did not have that, I ran out of steam, I could not see why I was doing this anymore. Because I wasn’t’ fully clear on what I wanted in the first place.

I want to do mad things and show the world that everything is possible. To do that, I want to speak at the premier speaking event in the whole country. Why because its mad and I feel it will have a positive impact on the people around me. Why because I’m nobody, and if a nobody can do this, well then pretty much anything is possible, if your heart is in it.glow-1177383

So let’s do some mad stuff, lets have lots of fun, and see what is possible. I’m re-energised and I hope you are too.

My Chronic Fatigue Story

Chronic-FatigueOver the past 10 years I’ve struggled with chronic fatigue and Fibromyalgia I have
tried every treatment and therapy known to man, but no success. That’s I because I was looking in the wrong place for the solution to my issue.

This crept up on me gradually, bit by bit, I had to go back to bed, more and more each day. First I went to the doctor, and that was of no use. Then I went to Nutritionists, Dietitians, Naturopaths, Ayurveda, you name it i did it. I started doing course after course, and I kept getting worse and worse. At the height of it I could barely work, I was completely dependent, on my parents, to survive. I was only functional for a few hours a day.

bernarr-macfadden-fighting-disease-with-vitalityI have noticed a pattern with clients. We are very alike, different races, creeds and body types, but we have one key trait that shines through it all. We all have ambition, but unfortunately we are hindered by our energy levels. We get frustrated, stressed, and this just compounds the whole matter. We are driven, but that drive is actually what Is causing the problem.

As I have worked through my own stuff I’ve gone to 100’s of experts in lots of different fields searching for the solution. I was always looking externally to myself what chemical what imbalance what cure can I get for this.

fibromyalgia-1What I have found is that Chronic Fatigue is the result, but not the cause. It is the result of a whole chain of things. If your look at the result, not the cause you will never find a solution, because your looking completely in the wrong place.

Let me explain this in a slightly abstract way. Imagine one million years ago when we were walking around the jungle and a big animal jumps out to attack us, we go sprinting as fast as we can, this is the fight or flight response, or stress. Our bodies are really smart and because we need all our energy and physical resources to go to our muscles, our body shuts down non essential parts of our bodies, like our digestive system, when stressed. The person gets away and then relaxes and his body returns to normal.

hqdefaultThere are no dangers like that in our lives, but we still have the same system operating in the background. Our body doesn’t know the difference between an animal and work stress or the stress of having to pay bills. where do people get butterflies when they are about to get up on stage?

The problem is we are in a constant state of stress every day. Stress going to work, stress in work, stress coming home and stress on the news. We are in a constant state of stress so our bodies do not normalize anymore.

If our digestive system is constantly not fully engaged then we have food that sits in our digestive system, and causes irritation, then we develop food intolerance’s. Because it is not fully turned on, we don’t absorb the right nutrients. We are in a heightened state of alertness, so we are burning more and more vitamins, at the exact time we are not absorbing them! We are running our engines with little or no oil, to keep it in peak performance. On top or all that because we are tired we tend to want more calorie rich food like chocolate sugar and carbs, but these again are not going to replace what we need. On top of that again we drink caffeine which literally turns on our stress hormones (adrenaline) to boost our energy which adds more pressure on a completely exhausted system.

Do you see where this is going? So we are running on empty, not just empty but on a deficit. We are running ourselves into the ground.

But all of that stress started in our perceptions of what was going on! It all started in our decisions about what is going on in our world. Everything chases back to our thoughts, options, and decisions. They either stress us out or not!

This is why my blog is called Health Starts In The Mind because everything in our lives starts in our mind. Our thoughts create our reality.

FibromyalgiaThis had a cascade effect in my body as I got more stressed, I thought more how to fix it, as I through more how to fix it, I got more stressed. Bit by bit my body started to shut down and the external effects of my thought patterns started to show up. I was getting more tired and sleeping more, but not getting a proper rest, then because of inactivity, my legs and back started to ache. So I started to look at what was making me tired and sore. But that was the wrong place. I had to take control of my thoughts.

HealthSo what changed? I got pissed off really pissed off I realized that I’d have to figure this out myself.  Bit by bit I worked through my food intolerance’s and worked on upping my nutrition by eating better foods. But I would only get so far, I’d improve then my stress levels would catch up with my health, and I’d start going downhill again. Then I really started to change how I perceived the world. I started to really delve into how my mind worked. I started to learn how reality worked and started to change that for the better. HealthyThe more I worked on my thoughts the more I de-stressed the more I de-stressed the more energy I had. I learnt how to focus on what I wanted not what I didn’t want. I wanted to be full of energy and enthusiasm. Reading about sickness only made me stressed, and as a result sick.

I’ve noticed over and over that people who have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia ME and depression, are all smart people with ambition. Any of the ones that heal all have a moment where they say no more! They call it rock bottom, where they decide what they are doing isn’t working, and it’s time to do something else. To start thinking differently!

Today I’m one of the healthiest people you will meet. I do get tired but that is because I do too much. but I regulate it way better now and i work with my body. I don’t stress about it i just do what is right for me and move on. Nice and easy.

Let me ask you what do you want? Do you want to be “not sick” or full of “Vitality and H



ealth”? I know what I want. So what are you going to change today?

The way the world works. Love yourself and your life.

success-perception-vs-realityOur perceptions rule the roost. But our perceptions are very flexible. There is no good or bad, just what is. One person in a car crash will say “it was the best thing that ever happened me, because it made me realize that life is short”, and you already know what the other person will say.

If you imagine a chair, what makes it a chair? What defines it as a chair? Is it the shape or what it’s made out of? If I asked you what it was? You could answer, it is wood or whatever it’s made out of, and you would 100% right, Or atoms or energy. But all these are just words that depict a story. The word chair creates a story which is “something you sit on” but what is it really. What if some art student has it in their house, it’s painted a different colour to all the rest of the chairs in the house, it has a lamp on it, and it’s beside their bed. What would it be then? What if they walked over and took the lamp off and sat down. The story of the chair would change from bedside table to chair to what ever next. So the story is completely flexible.

In reality that chair is not just a chair. It can be something to stand on, or to put things on. Its uses are infinite, but because of the word chair it becomes limited, the story constrains our imagination. What is a chair to a baby? Well up until its big enough, it’s something to hold on to so it can walk.

I now see everything in two layers one is what vocabulary-chair-coloring-page-printablethe chair really is (pure energy and imagination) and the other is the story we bestow on it. They are two completely separate things. One is in our heads and the other is out there in reality.

Imagine if we put a pen in a baby’s face, what that is to the baby? It does not know that it is a pen, it sees that pen and when we take it away that pen ceases to exist, it vanishes, because there is no word pen in the babies head no understanding. Then through conditioning us repeating the word pen over and over then the baby realizes that that shape is called a pen, it then keeps a picture of the pen in its mind and it starts to exist there, then the story grows as the baby grows, I can make marks with the pen, then the story grows again, there are two types of pens, pens and pencils. This is all inside the mind of the child if that story didn’t exist in the child’s mind, they would never know what that was, it would cease to exist in their reality.

abracadabra_by_mandapandar-d6hp85jWords crate our reality. Why is a chair a chair? Because we say it is, no other reason. So what does that mean for your reality? Can you rewrite it? What does that mean for you? are you your name? Are you your story? would different people have different perspectives (stories) on your life

AbracadabraIf words create your reality, what does that mean for language? Does your language create your reality? We have a part of our brain called the amygdala that filters reality for us based on our experiences and thoughts. What does that mean though, how is that practical?  I prefer to make this way simpler our amygdala filters reality based on our words.

No RedGreat coloursLet’s run an experiment. Say out loud a colour you don’t want to see, lets pick red, so say out loud, over and over, no red, no red, no red, what do you see? Of course you see red, when you were talking about what you didn’t want, did you see what you wanted? What would happen if you started saying a colour you did want what would happen?

Our words are like lenses if you say cat your amygdala filters reality for cats, and so on, but if you talk about what you do not want your filtering reality for that also.

So you get more of what you talk about!! That is huge, what do you talk mostly about?

Positive and negativePositive and negative language. Imagine saying “I must be more positive” “I must be more positive” “I must be more positive”! How does that statement feel to you? Does it feel positive or does it feel like your beating yourself over the head. The intention is positive, but the execution is not. How many times have we all had good intentions that have backfired on us? What is that person really saying when they are saying I must be more positive? What they are really saying is “I’m not positive” “I’m not positive”, “I’m not doing it right”, “I’m not good enough”. They are beating themselves up with words. How many times a day do we all do this?

i-think-i-like-who-i-am-becomingHow does this feel? I’m becoming more and more positive every day. It feels so much nicer and truer, because we are all learning and growing each day. That word, “must”, created a whole different feeling.

I’ve shifted from saying positive and negative because the terms are too abstract the real meaning of positive and negative is love and fear. If you Love-Greater-Than-Fear-mailer-frontlook at the term “must” Is a fear word it is imposed upon you by your teacher, boss, or torturer! You must do this or you will be punished, it diminishes your self-esteem, because it is imposed upon you, and you are not seen as equal.

i_like_who_i'm_becoming-771632 Whereas if you say the word “becoming” is an internal word a word that has growth to it, it sees you as completely capable, to be whatever you want. I am becoming an astronaut (I want to), rather than I must be an astronaut (I have to). So when we use the word becoming, we are building our self-esteem because we are in charge of our destiny. Becoming is a love word it is loving yourself.

There are many other fear based words should must have to don’t can’t and many other love based words. The remarkable thing is that all the fear based words are not true and diminish self-esteem whereas all love based words are true and build self-esteem.

Fear is the number one negative term but does it exist? If we look at the chair example again, when we use the word chair, that story limits our imagination, and gives us the impression that it is a solid and permanent thing. But in reality it is a constantly changing thing that is degrading and changing its use all the time. It is completely flexible. But the word and associated story is not flexible. It is a chair and it is for sitting on! End of story! The word fear gives us the same feeling that it is sold and exists. but can you point to fear can you touch it?

If fear is not real how come we feel it? If you go to the cinema to see a scary movie do you get scared? Why is that? We have an imagination and we can imagine ourselves in many different situations, but because our imagination is soo good we can also scare the pants off ourselves.

Worry-fearFear is a misuse of the imagination. It is an emotional response to an imaginary situation. a projection of ourselves in the future. So it is not real now.

Did you notice how the two terms felt? Fear, and emotional response to an imaginary situation. The word fear feels much more solid and real, like its immovable and it actually stops the flow of your imagination. I’ve got a fear. yes you do, boom done you’re screwed. Whereas if you use the term emotional response to an imaginary situation, it feels so much more flexible, it actually gives you the answer to the situation. Imagine something else. the more effective language allows your energy (emotions and imagination) to flow.

fear-is-not-real-its-a-product-of-thought-we-create-but-doI’m sure your head is starting to spin now, and your starting to ask about danger. Fear is imaginary, danger isn’t. But we have to look at this in an abstract way. If you are standing on the side of a busy road waiting to cross are you in danger? Sure you are but if you’ve done it enough you trust the situation will turn out ok. So you actually don’t think about it at all, and just deal with what is presented to you. So you’re in danger but not in fear. Could a hypnotist make you fearful in that situation would you be in any more danger?

If you imagine the same situation, but now with a 3 year old kid, who is a bit unpredictable, what do you do? You fear that the kid may run out so you take charge of the situation and hold the kids hand.

Lack-of-faith-quote-muhammad-aliI used two very important words there. Fear and trust / faith. When we feared that the kid “could” (imaginary) we did not trust him, but we trusted ourselves, when we took charge of the situation, by holding the kids hand. So what is fear really? Fear is really is lack of self-trust / belief.

This is huge! Imagine the sneaky word Fear had us looking at this external solid feeling thing. It had us looking in the wrong direction all the time. Now that we know its self-trust / belief what difference does that make?

What would happen if you focused on all the successes in your life? Even as little as crossing the road. Would you start to feel better about yourself? What would happen if you started to imagine, things going well for you, or even great, what would happen? would you be loving yourself then?

So many people struggle with loving themselves! Why is that? Would it be as simple as the language we use?

What would happen if we actually started speaking the truth about ourselves?

What do you mean the truth?

self-esteemIf you use fear based language it’s always in the future, don’t spill the water, I can’t do that, it always sees you or the other person as not capable. I expect you to spill the water so don’t, I expect I am not able to do that.

What would happen if we said the same things but using loving language? Put the glass on the table. It sees you as capable of getting the water to the table, make sure you get the water in your mouth. Or I can do that, but I really do not want to put the effort in. Each time you see yourself and the other person as completely capable of doing what ever, and it is 100% true.

The really mad thing is all negative fear based language, can be instantly negated. If someone says, I can’t go to the moon. You can instantly say if you had enough money you could. I can’t run a marathon, I’ve no legs! Do it in a wheel chair, invent some legs.

All positive loving statements are 100% true and can’t be argued with. I can run a marathon, but I couldn’t be arsed. I can get to the moon but it’s something that doesn’t interest me at this time. each time your telling the truth and not putting yourself down.

I love myselfSo how do you love yourself? Start talking about what you want, what you can do, and all the successes in your life. Even if it is just tying your shoe. you will be telling the truth.

If you talk about what you want, and what you can do? What will you notice more of in your life. Will your energy and enthusiasm improve? If you keep at that for long enough for it to be come your way of being, how will your life change.

From now on your either talking about what you don’t want, or what you do want, it is your choice! you can either love yourself by saying, i can, or i cant either way your literally creating your reality because your reality is the words you use.

 

Traits of an Entrepreneur.

EntrepreneurWe can get caught up in traits, behaviors and miss the true essence of a person. This is a great post on traits of an entrepreneur and also someone who is living their life to the fullest. Richard Branson

What I want to show is that we are all individuals, and we come at every single thing in life in a completely unique way. So no matter what, trying to emulate traits, is actually not being true to yourself, and demotivates you.

I’ve found through dealing with a number of entrepreneurs that effective personality traits develop as desire for the business grows. The desire to create an effective mind-set and routines grows in line with the business.

So the key personality trait that I would suggest developing is clarity of vision. see how your business can work get out there and start asking questions.

However, there is an aspect of this, that has to be kept in mind. It is to develop clarity of vision with a focus on improving ones self to achieve that goal.

Just like running a marathon you can not go straight to running 42 kilometers you have to grow but by doing your research each day and doing your bit each day you learn about yourself and as part of that you grow in every aspect. you get more organized to run in the morning you learn about eating better. all the traits develop as you move towards the goal.Entrepreneur calm

Let me ask you do you think Donald Trump and Richard Branson where born with all these skills, or did they learn them as they went along. Each of them learned personality traits from their parents. How many rags to riches stories have you heard, from people who had no parents. What happened is, that they had a goal and developed the traits along the way.

Goals come before traits so develop your goals and become the person who can achieve them.

What are your goals,  and who do you have to become to get there?

Routines to wins.

Consistent wins

Every successful entrepreneur has routines, these morning routines or rituals gear your brain up for the day a head and keep you focused on what is most important. some people meditate others do vision boards but every successful person has some sort of morning routine.

But routine is boring.

I’ve been struggling with morning routines for a long time now. I do them, but they are routine. They seem long and drawn out and boring. I have to do this sort of mentality, But they do get me in the right frame of mind and focused

Consistent wins
Daily wins.

This morning I flipped it around, I started calling them morning wins, because you are winning, you’re beating that voice in your head, that holds you back. What better way to start a day than by setting your standards and winning.

First win, is beating the snooze, get up before the first one goes off. Easy and motivating to get up. I say to myself over and over “I make it happen” Whatever it is Life, Fun, and Goals? If it’s to be, it’s up to me.

Second win, do my push-ups and sit-ups. This gets you pumped and awake (naturally).

Third win, Meditation clears my mind for the day ahead.

The most important thing is to celebrate them. Log them in your book and see the fruits of your wins, write down how you feel and how you are thinking.

So set daily wins,

Daily wins.

not routines.