Re-evaluating my goals.

My plan to speak at pendulum summit got derailed, for the past few months.

I set an audacious goal, and didn’t really know what I was getting myself in for.

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Just like all goals, plan A didn’t work also plan b, c,d, and e. But now finally after trailing and fail-learning and a bit of de-motivation, I am getting the picture back of what I wanted 9 months ago.

I can see myself speaking on stage and the energy in the place being off the charts. I know the type of energy I want, because I’ve was a DJ, and I know when a place is electric. 3 or 4 thousand people, with a real drive, to be the best that they can be. Just even saying this pumps me up.

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I got derailed like every one, my goal was going to take a lot more effort than I thought. But that is the mark of a real goal. Something that will grow you. I had all the pieces but had no idea how long and how to put them together.

My naive assumption at the start of the year was, I’d put out a bunch of videos and get traction, and that was it. Haha. So funny now. Totally delusional. But again that is the mark of a true goal.

So, I’ve melted my own head over, and over, just like every entrepreneur, and it didn’t seem as much fun, as it originally did. It started feeling like it was going to be a lot of hard work.

Hard work

My plan originally was to do a bit of online marketing, and get a job with Pendulum Summit doing marketing, network with all the top people, and develop an opportunity that way.

What has come about, is I’ve had to start a media company, to build my own brand, which still doesn’t exist. So I’ve had to do a lot of study, and growing, than originally planned.

I started a meet up group,(The Epic Life Group) because I needed experience as an actual speaker. Yea that’s how delusional, this goal was. I fucking love it. Totally nuts.

Because I got disillusioned by the scale of things, my energy started to go, and I realized, I had a lot less time, than I originally thought. I was aiming to have all my stuff together at the end of the year, and I’d get a place to speak. But thanks to DJ and Journalist, Mark Kavanagh, I realized I had a lot less time. I actually had to get my shit together months in advance, because that is when they would finalize the lineup. Yea as I said I was delusional. Haha

Time

So through setting up the Meet-up group, that became much more interesting, and of much more value, than speaking at pendulum summit. I was getting in a small way, what I was aiming for in speaking at Pendulum.

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I said to myself, sure if I just build this group to thousands of people, I wont need pendulum.

So I carried on with that vision for a few months and had to think about growing the group, so I started reading lots of books, and marketing stuff, primarily @garyvee and today I realized, that I was struggling with my marketing message.

I realized that I had no direction, for what I was doing, I lost my north star. My vision had evaporated.

I was reading this stuff to grow the group, but to what end. It was vague and mushy.

Lost vision

Over the past few months, I had felt this vagueness, but I had no idea what it was. I went from being proactive, to just reading stuff that seemed like being productive, but it wasn’t leading anywhere.

I am reminded again, and again, that we have to have a north star, a destination, a goal because, that puts what we are doing, now, in context, and gives what we are doing, now, purpose.

north-star-filter

I was proactively lost.

I can even see it in the epic life group, I had lost that drive to grow, by being vague, and the group, I feel,could feel that too. Every bit of content I was putting out was great, but it lacked that bit of drive, and conviction, that direction. What we are all doing this for. We want epic lives, that is why, we are here, and that energy, was faltering.

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I understand on a whole new level, the purpose of goals, so much more now. Goals are not to be attained, but they are there as tools to help you grow.

The goal itself is irrelevant, the journey is the most important thing. It is who you become as a result of your journey, that is most important. But! the goal gives you direction.

This goal has gone from being something fun, to something much more serious, it is now become a mark of my growth, as a man, a person, as a person who can make a difference, to his own life, and as a result the people around him.

The goal has gone from being a selfish one, to one that I hope will empower others.

Get over myself

I know now, that I am mad late, on speaking at pendulum, but miracles happen every day.

I am re-energized, and clear again on what I want to do, and why. We all go through these processes. If you are to take one thing away from this, is just keep going, keep moving forward, and things will become clear eventually.

Clear Vision Clear Reults

If  I had have stopped, I would not have a second chance now, and I gave myself that second chance.

Second chances

My energy and clarity is back.

I see myself in the Dublin Exhibition Center speaking to 3 thousand people, and bringing them on a journey that empowers the fuck out of them. I see the place going nuts, for themselves, because they will see how far, they have come, through my story.

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If I can be so delusional, and keep going, so can anyone. I can tell you now, I am 100% a better person for all the effort I have put in. Win, loose, or draw I have grown, and that is the real purpose of goals.

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I can not go back to who I was, and one way or another, I am going to have better things because of this.

I look forward to meeting you on our Epic Journey’s

 

Self support the missing ingredient.

Constructive-Criticism Criticism is the most destructive thing that has ever been on this planet, and most of all from our parents. It causes a horrible chain reaction that can last for years, decades and multiple life times. We get criticized, this causes a feeling of not being good enough, then we want to feel better, we then look for approval. Our self-image has been damaged, we are not good enough anymore. Up until this time we were happy with everything we did. Then we learned to evaluate ourselves in a way that will diminish us, maybe for the rest of our lives.Self-Criticism

This has taken me hundreds of courses, a small fortune and thousands of hours of meditation and self evaluation. All roads lead to this, and this is the cause of all of our problems. Be it abuse or just criticism we are searching for something externally to fill this void in us. our low self esteem.

We have the feeling of not being good enough, we try to avoid that feeling, cover it up, or run away from it, it is constant no matter who we see or where we go, it is always with us. Because it happened so long ago, we can barely see, that it is this feeling that is causing soo much trouble in our lives. We are at its mercy.

We try to over achieve to counter act that feeling, maybe if I’m the best, richest or most popular maybe I can finally get rid of it. Maybe I’ll eventually be good enough maybe eventually I will be lovable? but we still manage to find that one thing that was not perfect, and no matter what achievements we have, they will never be good enough. We will never be good enough.

I can see how all addictions stem from avoiding this feeling, that will never cease or go away. I can see why guys and girls end up with the wrong people, hopelessly entangled in a hope to fill this void.

We are a global leader in developing innovative software, websites and marketing solutions for businesses. (1)What I learned about myself is that I was looking to fill this void, even after all the work I had put in. Deep down I was looking for support and approval from my parents. I didn’t get it as a child they had the best of intentions, but delivered it the way they were taught.

I’ve had a drive to be a better person, but it was coming from the wrong place. It was coming from a place of pain not joy.

I realized that this has had such huge impact on my life. Probably the most influential thing in my life.

I have heard so much about learning to love yourself. But what is that? Its vague at best and non-sense to most people. The vast majority of people do not know what love is and I certainly didn’t, to be honest I’m still not sure.

However, I do know what support is, I do know what being nice is, and I do know what seeing the best in others is. I know because I’ve been doing this for years for everyone else but myself.

Maybe I was subconsciously hoping that they would do it for me. But this could never happen my defenses where on such high alert, that even if they did give me a complement, I couldn’t hear or feel it. I had to solve this problem myself.

I had to see it / feel it.Self Support

What changed and over a few days is I started noticing how I had a lot of resistance to letting people know what I was up to, my latest plans, or just life in general, I wouldn’t share who I was, for fear of criticism, fear of being hurt. If no one knows how can they hurt me?

What I learned was I have to support myself, I have to be the one who pats myself on the back, and how I do that is by facing my feelings. Instead of running away I will listen to them and hear what they have to say. Ultimately they are there for a reason, and that reason is always for my highest good. They want me to stay safe, be happy ultimately they are looking out for me. They do not want me to feel pain. I don’t want me to feel pain.

freedom-is-lta-hrefquothttpearnscliffecoukhowwecanhelpreplicabagsukphpquotgtreplica-designer-handbag-13921121268n4kgWhat happened over the coming days, I paid attention to what is going on inside me, and finally listened to what my emotions where saying by listening I was able to turn around that approval mechanism, from being externally driven, to being internally driven. Essentially supporting myself.

I’ve tried this a number of times before by writing down what did over the course of a day but it was always avoiding the feeling rather than sitting with it and learning from it. I was trying to over ride it instead of listening to it.

I now have to create a new dialogue with myself feel my emotions, listen and build myself in the right way. Listening and feeling what is going on inside you is the quickest and easiest way of moving forward in life.

fresh-airYou have an opportunity right now to take a huge step forward in life. Where have you been looking for approval where have you been looking for support and at the same time ignoring yourself looking for something that you will never get externally? You have an opportunity to fill yourself with approval, support, and ultimately love yourself more.

Connecting To Your Heart.

Over the past 6 months while I’ve been on this trip to speaking at Pendulum Summit I’ve been hit with a multitude of issues and whilst all of them have been a pain, they are good. They have focused me.

heart-462873The biggest thing I’ve learned (again) is that you have to do what you love. What I had to learn was how to get into my heart, actually connect with myself. Due to partying and the usual growing up traumas I cut myself off from my emotions. I was happy in my numb-ness, but this caused a huge problem I couldn’t connect with what I wanted. From the outside I was enthusiastic and trying new things, but each thing had no meaning, they were just interesting. When I decided to become a DJ, when I was 20 ish at a Fatboy slim concert, that was a huge emotional confirmation I WANT THIS nothing before, or since has had that effect on me. Everything was just so so. But DJing was a different story, I could be free.

Now after doing some serious soul searching and energetic clearing, I’ve been able to connect more and more with my heart, the mad thing is that connecting with your heart is so much harder, and easier than you could imagine.

heartbeat-163709If I look back at my life, well the last 16 years at least I kinda have been connected, but the context was all wrong. The only things that have interested me is mad things, like jumping out of planes, DJing to mad crowds, and just trying new things in general. I did not want a specific thing, “my heart’s desire”.

I always thought that my heart desire would be something like ending poverty. or feeding the homeless. But in reality what makes me excited, is strange, different, quirky, and mad things. new, new, different. I always thought that, that was just me, who I was, but that wasn’t what my heart’s desire was.

eyes-421781My heart’s desire is simply just “I like mad things” different, new, change.

I’ve come to realize that because my heart’s desire was so close, I could not see it. It is literally how I operated. It was literally what made me excited, enthusiastic, and curious. But what did I want to do with that. What could I do with that?

People are passionate about making money, they are passionate about blogging, making videos, entrepreneurship / business or some other thing. I was interested in these things, but my heart just wasn’t into it, so I just kept running out of steam, after the initial curiosity wore off.

So what does all this mean now? Well its changed things around for me. I don’t want things, I want experiences, that fill me full of enthusiasm, excitement, and feed my curiosity.fitness-540263

Understanding the feelings I wanted, helped me connect with what I wanted to do, to get them.

Our hearts desire is a feeling not a thing. This was a revelation to me. I wanted fun, as much fun as possible.

This enabled me to think about this whole thing another way. It enabled me to ask a better question!

landscape-640617I asked what will be the best way for me to get the most experiences, while having the most fun, and earning plenty of money. I came back around to blogging, but this time its blogging with a purpose, I want to have an epic life. I want to do it all. And I suspect you do too. But an awesome life for me, and for you are two different things. You may see an awesome life as having your own house and I see traveling as a much higher priority. But either way the process we go through will be the same.

I’ve come full circle on my goal for this year. I’m six months in, and I haven’t blogged in a month, because I got derailed. I got derailed because of one thing. I wasn’t connected to my heart, I did not have that, I ran out of steam, I could not see why I was doing this anymore. Because I wasn’t’ fully clear on what I wanted in the first place.

I want to do mad things and show the world that everything is possible. To do that, I want to speak at the premier speaking event in the whole country. Why because its mad and I feel it will have a positive impact on the people around me. Why because I’m nobody, and if a nobody can do this, well then pretty much anything is possible, if your heart is in it.glow-1177383

So let’s do some mad stuff, lets have lots of fun, and see what is possible. I’m re-energised and I hope you are too.

My Chronic Fatigue Story

Chronic-FatigueOver the past 10 years I’ve struggled with chronic fatigue and Fibromyalgia I have
tried every treatment and therapy known to man, but no success. That’s I because I was looking in the wrong place for the solution to my issue.

This crept up on me gradually, bit by bit, I had to go back to bed, more and more each day. First I went to the doctor, and that was of no use. Then I went to Nutritionists, Dietitians, Naturopaths, Ayurveda, you name it i did it. I started doing course after course, and I kept getting worse and worse. At the height of it I could barely work, I was completely dependent, on my parents, to survive. I was only functional for a few hours a day.

bernarr-macfadden-fighting-disease-with-vitalityI have noticed a pattern with clients. We are very alike, different races, creeds and body types, but we have one key trait that shines through it all. We all have ambition, but unfortunately we are hindered by our energy levels. We get frustrated, stressed, and this just compounds the whole matter. We are driven, but that drive is actually what Is causing the problem.

As I have worked through my own stuff I’ve gone to 100’s of experts in lots of different fields searching for the solution. I was always looking externally to myself what chemical what imbalance what cure can I get for this.

fibromyalgia-1What I have found is that Chronic Fatigue is the result, but not the cause. It is the result of a whole chain of things. If your look at the result, not the cause you will never find a solution, because your looking completely in the wrong place.

Let me explain this in a slightly abstract way. Imagine one million years ago when we were walking around the jungle and a big animal jumps out to attack us, we go sprinting as fast as we can, this is the fight or flight response, or stress. Our bodies are really smart and because we need all our energy and physical resources to go to our muscles, our body shuts down non essential parts of our bodies, like our digestive system, when stressed. The person gets away and then relaxes and his body returns to normal.

hqdefaultThere are no dangers like that in our lives, but we still have the same system operating in the background. Our body doesn’t know the difference between an animal and work stress or the stress of having to pay bills. where do people get butterflies when they are about to get up on stage?

The problem is we are in a constant state of stress every day. Stress going to work, stress in work, stress coming home and stress on the news. We are in a constant state of stress so our bodies do not normalize anymore.

If our digestive system is constantly not fully engaged then we have food that sits in our digestive system, and causes irritation, then we develop food intolerance’s. Because it is not fully turned on, we don’t absorb the right nutrients. We are in a heightened state of alertness, so we are burning more and more vitamins, at the exact time we are not absorbing them! We are running our engines with little or no oil, to keep it in peak performance. On top or all that because we are tired we tend to want more calorie rich food like chocolate sugar and carbs, but these again are not going to replace what we need. On top of that again we drink caffeine which literally turns on our stress hormones (adrenaline) to boost our energy which adds more pressure on a completely exhausted system.

Do you see where this is going? So we are running on empty, not just empty but on a deficit. We are running ourselves into the ground.

But all of that stress started in our perceptions of what was going on! It all started in our decisions about what is going on in our world. Everything chases back to our thoughts, options, and decisions. They either stress us out or not!

This is why my blog is called Health Starts In The Mind because everything in our lives starts in our mind. Our thoughts create our reality.

FibromyalgiaThis had a cascade effect in my body as I got more stressed, I thought more how to fix it, as I through more how to fix it, I got more stressed. Bit by bit my body started to shut down and the external effects of my thought patterns started to show up. I was getting more tired and sleeping more, but not getting a proper rest, then because of inactivity, my legs and back started to ache. So I started to look at what was making me tired and sore. But that was the wrong place. I had to take control of my thoughts.

HealthSo what changed? I got pissed off really pissed off I realized that I’d have to figure this out myself.  Bit by bit I worked through my food intolerance’s and worked on upping my nutrition by eating better foods. But I would only get so far, I’d improve then my stress levels would catch up with my health, and I’d start going downhill again. Then I really started to change how I perceived the world. I started to really delve into how my mind worked. I started to learn how reality worked and started to change that for the better. HealthyThe more I worked on my thoughts the more I de-stressed the more I de-stressed the more energy I had. I learnt how to focus on what I wanted not what I didn’t want. I wanted to be full of energy and enthusiasm. Reading about sickness only made me stressed, and as a result sick.

I’ve noticed over and over that people who have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia ME and depression, are all smart people with ambition. Any of the ones that heal all have a moment where they say no more! They call it rock bottom, where they decide what they are doing isn’t working, and it’s time to do something else. To start thinking differently!

Today I’m one of the healthiest people you will meet. I do get tired but that is because I do too much. but I regulate it way better now and i work with my body. I don’t stress about it i just do what is right for me and move on. Nice and easy.

Let me ask you what do you want? Do you want to be “not sick” or full of “Vitality and H



ealth”? I know what I want. So what are you going to change today?

The way the world works. Love yourself and your life.

success-perception-vs-realityOur perceptions rule the roost. But our perceptions are very flexible. There is no good or bad, just what is. One person in a car crash will say “it was the best thing that ever happened me, because it made me realize that life is short”, and you already know what the other person will say.

If you imagine a chair, what makes it a chair? What defines it as a chair? Is it the shape or what it’s made out of? If I asked you what it was? You could answer, it is wood or whatever it’s made out of, and you would 100% right, Or atoms or energy. But all these are just words that depict a story. The word chair creates a story which is “something you sit on” but what is it really. What if some art student has it in their house, it’s painted a different colour to all the rest of the chairs in the house, it has a lamp on it, and it’s beside their bed. What would it be then? What if they walked over and took the lamp off and sat down. The story of the chair would change from bedside table to chair to what ever next. So the story is completely flexible.

In reality that chair is not just a chair. It can be something to stand on, or to put things on. Its uses are infinite, but because of the word chair it becomes limited, the story constrains our imagination. What is a chair to a baby? Well up until its big enough, it’s something to hold on to so it can walk.

I now see everything in two layers one is what vocabulary-chair-coloring-page-printablethe chair really is (pure energy and imagination) and the other is the story we bestow on it. They are two completely separate things. One is in our heads and the other is out there in reality.

Imagine if we put a pen in a baby’s face, what that is to the baby? It does not know that it is a pen, it sees that pen and when we take it away that pen ceases to exist, it vanishes, because there is no word pen in the babies head no understanding. Then through conditioning us repeating the word pen over and over then the baby realizes that that shape is called a pen, it then keeps a picture of the pen in its mind and it starts to exist there, then the story grows as the baby grows, I can make marks with the pen, then the story grows again, there are two types of pens, pens and pencils. This is all inside the mind of the child if that story didn’t exist in the child’s mind, they would never know what that was, it would cease to exist in their reality.

abracadabra_by_mandapandar-d6hp85jWords crate our reality. Why is a chair a chair? Because we say it is, no other reason. So what does that mean for your reality? Can you rewrite it? What does that mean for you? are you your name? Are you your story? would different people have different perspectives (stories) on your life

AbracadabraIf words create your reality, what does that mean for language? Does your language create your reality? We have a part of our brain called the amygdala that filters reality for us based on our experiences and thoughts. What does that mean though, how is that practical?  I prefer to make this way simpler our amygdala filters reality based on our words.

No RedGreat coloursLet’s run an experiment. Say out loud a colour you don’t want to see, lets pick red, so say out loud, over and over, no red, no red, no red, what do you see? Of course you see red, when you were talking about what you didn’t want, did you see what you wanted? What would happen if you started saying a colour you did want what would happen?

Our words are like lenses if you say cat your amygdala filters reality for cats, and so on, but if you talk about what you do not want your filtering reality for that also.

So you get more of what you talk about!! That is huge, what do you talk mostly about?

Positive and negativePositive and negative language. Imagine saying “I must be more positive” “I must be more positive” “I must be more positive”! How does that statement feel to you? Does it feel positive or does it feel like your beating yourself over the head. The intention is positive, but the execution is not. How many times have we all had good intentions that have backfired on us? What is that person really saying when they are saying I must be more positive? What they are really saying is “I’m not positive” “I’m not positive”, “I’m not doing it right”, “I’m not good enough”. They are beating themselves up with words. How many times a day do we all do this?

i-think-i-like-who-i-am-becomingHow does this feel? I’m becoming more and more positive every day. It feels so much nicer and truer, because we are all learning and growing each day. That word, “must”, created a whole different feeling.

I’ve shifted from saying positive and negative because the terms are too abstract the real meaning of positive and negative is love and fear. If you Love-Greater-Than-Fear-mailer-frontlook at the term “must” Is a fear word it is imposed upon you by your teacher, boss, or torturer! You must do this or you will be punished, it diminishes your self-esteem, because it is imposed upon you, and you are not seen as equal.

i_like_who_i'm_becoming-771632 Whereas if you say the word “becoming” is an internal word a word that has growth to it, it sees you as completely capable, to be whatever you want. I am becoming an astronaut (I want to), rather than I must be an astronaut (I have to). So when we use the word becoming, we are building our self-esteem because we are in charge of our destiny. Becoming is a love word it is loving yourself.

There are many other fear based words should must have to don’t can’t and many other love based words. The remarkable thing is that all the fear based words are not true and diminish self-esteem whereas all love based words are true and build self-esteem.

Fear is the number one negative term but does it exist? If we look at the chair example again, when we use the word chair, that story limits our imagination, and gives us the impression that it is a solid and permanent thing. But in reality it is a constantly changing thing that is degrading and changing its use all the time. It is completely flexible. But the word and associated story is not flexible. It is a chair and it is for sitting on! End of story! The word fear gives us the same feeling that it is sold and exists. but can you point to fear can you touch it?

If fear is not real how come we feel it? If you go to the cinema to see a scary movie do you get scared? Why is that? We have an imagination and we can imagine ourselves in many different situations, but because our imagination is soo good we can also scare the pants off ourselves.

Worry-fearFear is a misuse of the imagination. It is an emotional response to an imaginary situation. a projection of ourselves in the future. So it is not real now.

Did you notice how the two terms felt? Fear, and emotional response to an imaginary situation. The word fear feels much more solid and real, like its immovable and it actually stops the flow of your imagination. I’ve got a fear. yes you do, boom done you’re screwed. Whereas if you use the term emotional response to an imaginary situation, it feels so much more flexible, it actually gives you the answer to the situation. Imagine something else. the more effective language allows your energy (emotions and imagination) to flow.

fear-is-not-real-its-a-product-of-thought-we-create-but-doI’m sure your head is starting to spin now, and your starting to ask about danger. Fear is imaginary, danger isn’t. But we have to look at this in an abstract way. If you are standing on the side of a busy road waiting to cross are you in danger? Sure you are but if you’ve done it enough you trust the situation will turn out ok. So you actually don’t think about it at all, and just deal with what is presented to you. So you’re in danger but not in fear. Could a hypnotist make you fearful in that situation would you be in any more danger?

If you imagine the same situation, but now with a 3 year old kid, who is a bit unpredictable, what do you do? You fear that the kid may run out so you take charge of the situation and hold the kids hand.

Lack-of-faith-quote-muhammad-aliI used two very important words there. Fear and trust / faith. When we feared that the kid “could” (imaginary) we did not trust him, but we trusted ourselves, when we took charge of the situation, by holding the kids hand. So what is fear really? Fear is really is lack of self-trust / belief.

This is huge! Imagine the sneaky word Fear had us looking at this external solid feeling thing. It had us looking in the wrong direction all the time. Now that we know its self-trust / belief what difference does that make?

What would happen if you focused on all the successes in your life? Even as little as crossing the road. Would you start to feel better about yourself? What would happen if you started to imagine, things going well for you, or even great, what would happen? would you be loving yourself then?

So many people struggle with loving themselves! Why is that? Would it be as simple as the language we use?

What would happen if we actually started speaking the truth about ourselves?

What do you mean the truth?

self-esteemIf you use fear based language it’s always in the future, don’t spill the water, I can’t do that, it always sees you or the other person as not capable. I expect you to spill the water so don’t, I expect I am not able to do that.

What would happen if we said the same things but using loving language? Put the glass on the table. It sees you as capable of getting the water to the table, make sure you get the water in your mouth. Or I can do that, but I really do not want to put the effort in. Each time you see yourself and the other person as completely capable of doing what ever, and it is 100% true.

The really mad thing is all negative fear based language, can be instantly negated. If someone says, I can’t go to the moon. You can instantly say if you had enough money you could. I can’t run a marathon, I’ve no legs! Do it in a wheel chair, invent some legs.

All positive loving statements are 100% true and can’t be argued with. I can run a marathon, but I couldn’t be arsed. I can get to the moon but it’s something that doesn’t interest me at this time. each time your telling the truth and not putting yourself down.

I love myselfSo how do you love yourself? Start talking about what you want, what you can do, and all the successes in your life. Even if it is just tying your shoe. you will be telling the truth.

If you talk about what you want, and what you can do? What will you notice more of in your life. Will your energy and enthusiasm improve? If you keep at that for long enough for it to be come your way of being, how will your life change.

From now on your either talking about what you don’t want, or what you do want, it is your choice! you can either love yourself by saying, i can, or i cant either way your literally creating your reality because your reality is the words you use.

 

The only thing between you and success are the words you use.

WordsImagine we started using more effective language regarding processing our problems. Instead of saying “I have no money” we said something like “how can I get more money”.

How do those two statements feel to you? “I have no money” is true but it has no way out. No way of letting your imagination (energy) flow, to get you to your solution.

How does saying “How can I get more money” feel? It instantly assumes there is a path (flow of energy) towards what you want.

What happens when you use even more effective words? “What ways can I get more money”?spiritualpaths

How does the third version feel to you?

What other words can you use to get you to where you want to go?

The Difference between success and failure is enthusiasm.

enthusiasm

The people who love what they are doing, are getting ahead and that is because that is what they want to do. They enjoy overcoming challenges and seeing what they are capable of, or they feel that they are making a difference to the world. But what do they have that we don’t? Why do they like what they are doing and we don’t?

What is enthusiasm???????????? Is it this esoteric thing that bestows enjoyment on you, or is it something you can cultivate????? We have all experienced it at one time or another, but how can we get more of it?

Let’s start at the start. This is literally the most important blog post you will ever read!!!!!  This blog post will show you how reality “really” is, how to manipulate it and change everything in your life with one simple word. ENTHUSIASM.

What is reality? Reality is literally what ever we say it is!!! You say “that is a table”, someone else will say “it’s a bed”, if that is what they have been taught all their lives. Someone else, will say, “Its wood”, or “it’s ugly”. Really think about this for a second. Who says that anything is what it is? As a group of people we agree a certain term for something and then that term becomes what it is called from then on in. If you break everything down to its simplest components, reality is just energy (atoms are just energy) that is really all we can say anything really is. But what does all that mean, basically it means that reality is what we say it is. If enough people agree that something is something then it becomes a fact. This means we can manipulate reality to whatever we want. Call a cow a dog and a horse a cat if you like. Whatever story we want to tell, we can tell. It may not be effective in life but we have the power to do that.

But what does all that really mean. Not a whole lot until you put it together with this. There is no good or bad in reality. Good and bad is just a human construct to describe pain a pleasure. Someone will have a car crash and say it’s the best thing that ever happened them, because it made them realise that they want to live life to the fullest. Whereas someone else will say it ruined their life… what makes it good or bad is the story we tell ourselves. Just like reality, we can change that story to whatever we want. Lots of successful business people will tell you that the failures they had starting out in business, taught them the best lessons to become successful. All business people who fail will have the exact opposite story. The successful people just changed their story and learnt the lessons that where presented to them and moved on turning a challenge into a success.How to be happy

I’m sure you have heard that positive people succeed more than negative people. Positive people just know how to manipulate reality to what suits them. Essentially they just say the story that gets them to where they want to be, rather than the story of why they cannot get to where they want to be.

But what is positive and negative? Think about this for a second!!! We all know the terms but very few people actually know what positivity actually is. It is an abstract term and the abstract terms of positive and negative are keeping people paralysed. They are saying I want to be more positive (which is a negative term) or be positive, be positive, be positive, but that is negative also.

So what is positive and negative? Imagine this for a second, Imagine a person in front of you that you completely love, you want the absolute best for them. How would you speak to them? Would you say you’re an idiot or would you say you’re great? How do those terms feel to you now? One is painful and one is nice. How do you speak to yourself? Positive and negative are actually abstract terms for love and fear. When you say to that person you love “you can do it” you are loving them you are seeing them for what they are really capable of. What happens if you say “you can’t” you are fearful because you believe that they MAY!! Get hurt, or you’re seeing them through your own fears of not being good enough.

Positive and negative are Love and Fear. If you speak with fearful language it’s always pulling away. I’m afraid of that thing over there! Loving language is I’m curious about that thing over there. It is the exact same situation but the different words completely change the reality of the situation.

The language we use changes how we feel and as a result either makes us fearful or loving. What sort of language do you use? Does it tear you down by focusing on what you can’t do, or does it build you up by focusing on what you can do? There is always a positive to every single Achievementsituation. Stop now and think about a negative situation you have in your life, that you want to change, and make this statement to yourself. “I know there are some positive aspects to this!! What have I learned? How have I grown? and how can I take charge of my life to make this situation better” stick at it until you start finding something loving, positive and at that point you will know how to literally manipulate all of your reality, to what you want. You will be a positive (loving) person to yourself? How are you going to start talking to yourself now? Are you going to talk to yourself like you hate or love yourself? Now you know how to be nice to yourself, you were able to put that person in front of you and talk nice to them? So now you know how to build yourself up.

I told you this was the most important post you will ever read. Imagine now you literally know that reality is what you say it is, you have learnt how to love yourself (literally talking nice to yourself) you have learnt that you can change every situation into a positive, so now you are the master of your own universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How is that making you feel now?

What does all that have to do with enthusiasm getting you successful? Now that you are master of your universe do you feel more enthusiastic about life? Do you feel more capable? Essentially I’ve been manipulating your mind this whole post. Sneakily I’ve been proving to you that you can, you can, you can, you can do it! How does that feel? How is hearing “you can” making you feel now? I’m positive that it is making you feel good. Are you feeling good for your future? That is what enthusiasm is, it is feeling good now, for what is coming in your future. Imagine you at Christmas, you wrote your letter to Santa and got excited, you put the decorations on your tree and got excited, you counted down your days and got excited. Essentially you were checking off the things that got you closer to your goal and that got you excited. You loved life…. And that is a really important statement “you loved life” you loved every part of it. So loving life is actually what enthusiasm is. It is love in action. How much energy do you get from loving what you do?

Now the serious bit. Are you doing what you love, because if you are not, you dread (fear) going in to work, you dislike the people, atmosphere, buss, whatever. Either way that fear is pulling you back from what you do not like, and that takes energy. How has this one paragraph hit you? Do you feel more or less energy now than you did a couple of seconds ago?  Can you feel how your language is changing your energy, enthusiasm and life?

More seriousness. How are you to succeed in a job you do not like, if your body is literally fighting against its self? How can you get ahead in that sort of state? To put it simply you can’t. There is someone out there with enthusiasm, for what they are doing, and they are going to sail right by you.

The shit has really hit the fan now!!!!! But remember all that we have learnt. You are the master of your reality you can write it any way you want. How can you start talking nice to yourself now, to make yourself feel more energised and enthusiastic now? How can you start steering your ship to a destination that you want?????????? What questions do you have to ask yourself to get you bouncing out of your seat?happy-baby-turtle-is-happy

This is the exciting stuff now. We are really going to mess things up now. What is success? Money, fame, achievement, remember you can manipulate everything to what you want. Success is what you say it is, because success is a feeling. We have all heard of famous people killing themselves, rich people being unhappy, and met high achievers who were miserable. Success is an emotion. You can feel successful by climbing the stairs, coming up with a great idea, or by fixing something. You feel like a success by the story you tell yourself. How have you succeeded today have you put on your clothes the right way for the millionth time in a row? Success like reality is what we say it is!!! Say this… “I am successful!” what do you not believe it? Then say this “I am successful at something” “I have successfully done something’s today” this is completely true “You are a success”!!!!

They say success breeds success and it does. If you focus on your wins, each day, how will you feel? Better or worse about yourself? I’m sure it’s better… do you want to talk to losers who moan? Not me anyway. So if you’re focused on your wins and you feel better what sort of people would you like to hang around with? I’m pretty sure it’s the same sort of people as you?? And they will want to talk to you also….. This is the law of attraction at work. Success attracts success, you attracts success by focusing on what you want and manipulating reality to what makes you feel good, this makes you enthusiastic for life.

Enthusiasm is loving what you are doing now, so that you can get what you want in the future. Just like saving for a holiday.  It may be hard putting that money away each week, but it makes you feel good now watching it grow for that reward in the future. Being enthusiastic every day for your life literally brings opportunities to you, because you attract people that are like minded and will move you towards the life of your dreams. How do you become enthusiastic every day is by focusing on the positive (using positive (loving) language)(loving yourself) manipulating reality to what you want (which is focusing on your successes) each day by learning from every situation.nothing-is-so-contagious-as-enthusiasm

What is your focus going to be from now on? Every day in every way I’m noticing more and more success? Every day in every way I’m becoming happier and happier? Imagine walking around saying the word success what are you looking for? Your reality will start to change… Look around your room now and say success in your mind over and over and look at what pops out to you. What did you notice? I’m sure you seen something that reminded you of success… but this is the important thing…. While you were saying “success” you automatically delete everything that has nothing to do with it. Your reality is literally changed by what words you’re constantly saying to yourself. Are you saying you’re a winner the world will reflect that you will literally be searching for the things that prove that. This is a huge statement “what you focus on you get more of” if you’re saying the word red over and over you’re going to get red. If you say not poor what are you going to get? You’re going to get poor, poor, poor. What will happen if you say rich (which is what you really want) you will get rich. What you say you get more of. You do not get what you want by focusing on what you do not want you get what you want by saying over and over what you do want. I am becoming happier and happier every day I’m becoming wealthier every day. Just be careful that the words your using make you feel good, enthusiastic and energetic. Don’t get caught with out with statements like I want to be rich because that statement isn’t finished it has a but at the end of it I want to be rich “but I’m not” say I’m working on a new exciting job or I’m saving more and more money I’m becoming wealthier and wealthier. They are progressive statements.Challenge-Accepted-2f2xs0v

I see learning this like skipping a stone on water. You get it, then habit kicks in, and you forget it, but then you get it, then forget it, and get it, and forget it, then eventually your new habit is formed and it sinks in fully. If you read this post often you will get “it” more and more every day and you will get everything your heart desires.

You can literally manipulate reality now, to whatever you want. You are a Jedi of the world around you. So what is the future you’re going to create?

Please leave a comment on your new amazing enthusiastic life I’d love to hear it.

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a state.

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You can be happy all the time.

Imagine you lost a leg in an accident. Instantly you go that’s bad, but because everything can be interpreted any way we like we can actively look for the positive in the situation. Maybe you get financial aid for the rest of your life, now you can’t get conscripted to the army, now you get the best parking spaces, and people become more respectful.As you grow your awareness you become less attached to things and outcomes. You stop defining them as good or bad you realise that they are just what they are.

Now I agree I would never give up my leg for any of these things. But what if that accident woke you up to life and you stated living life to its fullest. Over time you would start to appreciate that accident.

We have all heard this story before and we have all heard the opposite story where someone blames the accident for everything that has gone wrong in their life.

We get what we decide to look for. Be that good or bad in every situation. But in reality the accident was just an accident it was just a thing that happened like bouncing a ball. It wasn’t good or bad it was just what we attached to it that made it that way. Dogs love bouncing balls because they attach something positive to them. We probably couldn’t care less.

By knowing this we become un-attached to the thing or the outcome we know it is neither good or bad it is just what it is.

Be Happy

Now happiness becomes a choice. We can choose how we feel at all times. We can SEE the negative, but still be happy because the external world does not define our internal world.

What do you choose to be?

I want more self belief / self esteem.


On day 1. We said the most important thing in life is going for what you want.

Day 2. What is my purpose?

Day 3. Becoming happy.

Day 4. Money Money Money monaaaay monaaay.

And now day five.

As we discovered in day 4 our self belief governs everything in our lives, our self image, our health, our job, our wealth, our fun, our purpose.This originally started off as a single post

quote-a-strong-positive-self-image-is-the-best-possible-preparation-for-success-in-life

, then 3 and now 5 and has taken me a week to write, an enjoyable week at that.

Here is the biggest most powerful tip in the world ever ever ever, because this is the gateway to everything in your life. YOU CAN CHANGE ANY BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can change yourself image you can change the belief, I am no good, I’m stupid or I’m not good enough, you can change any belief and view yourself any way you want!

We have all met what we would call ugly or stupid people, who love themselves and are doing great. Maybe it’s a boss or a fat guy with a model girl friend and we say to our selves, what does he have that I don’t? It’s simple they just believe in themselves, they believe they are good enough to be in the position they are in. They probably look at you like you’re a nut for not going for what you can achieve.

The negative self image you may have, in your head, is your choice to hold on to, you can choose to change it and it’s really easy to change.

It has taken me years and years to actually realise this, our self image is just something we believe, like a wrong fact, we believe it until we decide to look for the evidence to then contrary.

How many times have you had debates with friends about a fact and defended it until your blue in the face then went to Google and found out they were right your belief around that fact instantly changed the second you got enough evidence.

How many complements have you gotten where as soon as they say something nice you instantly say they must be exaggerating, they just feel sorry for me because they know I’m not good enough, they must be mad or just basically put yourself down.

Have you seen other people do this to themselves?

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Next time say thank you and actually think about it for a second. They must mean it otherwise why would they waste their energy. Maybe you’re doing a better job than you thought?

Think about it where else should you feel good about yourself?

This action is our self image governing its self, that is governed by our beliefs and a feeling of lack (not good enough)

But we can change all of this negative self talk.

Bit by bit day by day you just start to focus on what you are good at and what you like. Imagine that you have something that partially blinds you a lens over your eyes so that you can only see what it allows you to see. That is how yourself belief works. It works in the background constantly blinding you to how great you can be. But it is only a rusty lens that has, over time, been stuck in the wrong position. So now you have to go and work on it manually (consciously) by writing down a list of at least 20 items, you are good at, so you can oil the lens and get it moving again and see the full picture. (It has to be 20 because it’s hard and gets your brain to strain)

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I was so convinced, I was no good at anything, and I could not come up with any ideas. My belief was, I am no good at ANYTHING, so my brain stopped looking after it hit that belief, it had no reason to it was fact, or so I thought. I believed that so strongly that I was completely blind to anything good about myself. I really had to work on it. Eventually I realised I’m good at lots of stuff but I had to start with really small things like dressing myself. I’ve been doing that OK for years?

Those few questions opened up a completely new world to me. I have a complete 180 degree turn now.

Imagine this: you woke up at your usual time in the morning and decided rather than going through your day moaning about how tired you are and how you want to stay in bed. They may be facts but essentially you can’t do anything about them, you have to go to work. So let’s look at it a different way now. Let’s start to look at all our achievements that we don’t appreciate any more. I’m going to be a bit pedantic, just to show you fully how much we can start to appreciate our selves. When did you learn to dress yourself, when you’re five? You have been doing that and feeding yourself for quite some time, you have learned to brush your teeth, drive your car pass school, maybe even college, maybe even climbed a mountain or rode a bike.

How many times a day do you play those successes over and over in your head?

How do you feel now that you have read some of those things and started thinking about all the stuff you have accomplished? Do you feel a bit better than you did before? Why do you feel better? Is it because for a minute you stopped berating yourself for all the things you did wrong today and focused on what you are doing well.

Imagine if you did that every day? How good would you feel, would you have a different opinion about yourself? I’m sure you would and it would be 100% true.

Everybody spends too much time focusing on what they did wrong and too easily forgets what they did right.

What we focus on we get more of, the more we focus on what we did right, the happier and more belief we will develop in ourselves and by proxy make more money because we will be happy and doing what we do to the best of our abilities.

Do you think the people at the top focus on the mistakes they made or do they build on the successes they have?

To summarize: money is a tool but that tool represents our belief in ourselves and that belief can be changed by focusing on what we are good at and the more we focus on our successes the more of them we get. So bit by bit day by day, all you have to do is practice and you will get all your desires.

But what happens when you’re going for your desires and focusing on what your good at? Does life seem a little brighter does it become more bearable, would you be enjoying life because you know good stuff is happening? I think so! If you’re happy, are you a better person to be around, I’m pretty sure you are, so as a result you’re making the world happy by proxy. As they say enthusiasm is infectious so is happiness.

If you have read all five posts I’m sure you have come full circle now and probably know what you want. You probably want to work on yourself belief, but what is the best way of doing this?Achievement

Actually the best way of doing this is going for what you really want. You want the cars, houses, holidays, fun, love and most importantly of all to help people. You just want to get your beliefs sorted so you can get down to the business of what you really want. But by going for what you really want, the beliefs that are directly in the way of you achieving your goals come up.

You might say I want a car, then instantly you get a, yea but, I don’t have any money, that is the most direct belief that has held you back. At that point you get to work on yourself and ask the questions how have I made money in the past? Could I make more money and have fun doing it? Could I get a raise in work? Then getting a raise becomes your new goal. I get a raise then I get my car. Then as soon as you decide that you get another belief in the way, but I’m not good enough to get a raise. Now we apply our awareness to that belief and we ask ourselves how can I get good enough? Am I good enough already and just don’t know it? Could I ask someone what to do? And so on. What if you just decided to turn up to work with a more positive upbeat attitude? How good will you feel? Can you see how by moving forward we automatically become better people, it is that drive forward that breaks down all the negative walls that stop us. so many people spend year in therapy looking for problems in their past but are never moving forward so they go over and over their problems never getting anywhere.

The most important thing is to take action and deal with each block as they come up not to go looking for them.
achievement-cropped

So by working on your goals you get to work on your beliefs and bit by bit your awareness grows and you start building yourself belief in the most effective way.

all it is practice, we have all practised the negative way long enough, now it’s time to practice the way that works for you and everyone else.

I hope you feel more in control and want to take on the world.

it would be great to hear your thoughts and also if you read all five days.

Thank you.

I want more money

As we said in the previous posts it is our purpose to go for what makes us happy and what makes us happy is going for what we want.

Dollars funnel.

We looked at how to start defining what you want.

BUT!!! Most people are blinded by one thing, MONEY!!!

We all want more money, but why do we want it? it’s just a piece of paper… right?

Actually people never want more money; they want the security it brings, the things it brings, or the freedom it represents. I definitely want money for these reasons.

However money in and of its self does not bring happiness. So many people think it does. But it’s what you do with money that is the real fun, going on jet skis, meeting up with friends, going to clubs and buying new cars.

But what we do for money often isn’t as much fun. So if we look at our experiences working for money rarely gets us what we really want and to be honest working harder at what we are doing isn’t really attractive enough to warrant the extra money it will bring. So we get caught in this trap of wanting money and not wanting to do our job (Just Over Broke)

I’m sure you have had this thought, I have many times, when I get a bit more money, I will have the money to think about what I want. Can you see how you will never get what you want by thinking this? On one hand your trapped by not wanting to work more because you do not enjoy your job and on the other hand you are not allowing your self to think about fun stuff because you have no money. Loose loose.

What can we do differently?

Be A Fun Mum

First and foremost we have to stop looking at money as the thing we want, it blinds us to what we really want.

When you decide what you want, like a car, a house or more holidays, money then follows automatically. Its mad but I’ll prove it.

By wanting a house you may notice an opportunity to win one or build one or some opportunity that I cannot even imagine, but you start seeing opportunities.

The money follows automatically because you have set a target a reason to work harder or think differently, you start to generate ideas, it gets your imagination fired up and as a result your enthusiasm grows, you start to have a reason to work, it makes your job a bit more enjoyable. It’s mad but it’s true. I’m sure you have done this many a time, when you decided to go on holidays. oh I need a bit more spending money? I definitely have.

So the desire for the thing automatically creates more money in your life, because you are more enthusiastic about life.

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What if you decided to think outside the box and ask a different question altogether. What if you wanted a job that was fun? That also made you money? What if you decided, I want a job that was fun that was rewarding, would you automatically turn up on time and be a great employee, would you get a raise for being such a good employee?

Money is just a tool to get what you want. Money follows what you want to do in life; it follows your enthusiasm, never ever the other way around.

Try it now ask yourself some questions and brain storm ideas. What sorts of jobs are there out there that are fun? What do I enjoy already? The more of these sorts of questions we ask the better the answers we will get.

There are people making lots of money doing crazy stuff, from wood work to selling stuff for amazon.com, to life coaches and playing guitar. You can make lots of money doing anything. I know people who love ironing and make extra cash ironing. (nut-cases) I’d sooner coach someone, but we are all different.

So How much fun and enthusiasm do you want in your life?   having-fun-25 

Look at this cop.

These are the facts about money it is only a tool, like a hammer. You use a hammer to hammer in nails when you’re building a house, you use money to pay someone to hammer in those same nails if you don’t have those skills. It is neither good or bad it is just a tool. You can use it to kill someone, just like a hammer, or you can use it to build a shelter, to save some one.

This is the human bit though. We tie money to survival, because we do need it to live. But this is where money starts getting tied to our beliefs. Money represents how we value our selves. We have all been in a situation in work where we say I’m worth more than this boring job, paying me next to nothing, for all the work I’m doing. But then we say, I’m no good at anything else, so I won’t get money, or a good paying job elsewhere. Generally this sort of statement is made because people don’t believe in themselves, which is a representation of their self worth. Basically I’m not good enough. So the less you are paid the less you value your self (as long as you are not enjoying your job, if you do enjoy it your getting paid in enjoyment)

Tomorrow how to build self belief and self worth.