Enthusiasm is the key part 2

We left yesterday’s post with one burning question, what makes you enthusiastic?

happy-sadQuestions are sooooo important. If I ask you, what don’t you like? you will think of something, you don’t like, and tell me. What would happen if i asked what do you like? So our questions actually make us feel good, or bad?

Our questions actually are a huge part of our awareness. Our ability to ask questions, is a huge part of our ability to be happy, and evaluate the world around us.

a-different-perspectiveBasically not taking things for granted, testing them, and then evaluating them, from a different perspective.

In a really simple, ask yourself this. What is a chair really? See how this question now expands our awareness to beyond what we thought?

Well the answer is…… wood or what ever its made out of, and then a smart person will say, atoms or energy. So its not really a chair? Hmmmm. What makes it different, to a table?

That question makes you think, so what is everything?

the_mind_is_everything_what_you_think_you_become_1024x1024What a chair really is, is a story, a chair is “something to sit on”. Think of it this way. If a chair was in an arts student’s house, and it was beside their bed, a lamp was on it and a book. We may think because of the context, that they are using it as a night table? So the story has changed, but the shape is the same, its really the context that has changed, that dictates the use, but, that is just a story.

What happens if they just take the stuff off, and it instantly becomes a chair, the story changes, but the thing is still the same.

question-everythingThis is awesome, so what happens then, if we start looking at these things, like what they really are, which is an infinite bunch of possibilities. So someone could take that wooden chair, and carve the most amazing things into it, and it becomes an art piece, or what ever we want to imagine.

Now that we are saying this, what is a chair really? Actually its unknowable. The most accurate thing I can come up with, is an infinite bunch of possibilities, which is literally the most vague thing ever.

limitless-possibilities

Do you feel how powerful questions are? They have just dissolved all of reality for us. our story of a chair is not true, it is made up, what would a baby call it? Well they wouldn’t be sitting on it, they would be using it to hold on to, while they figure out how to walk. So is it a Zimmer frame to that baby ha-ha.

If a chair can be a an infinite bunch of possibilities, what does that mean for you?

Who are you really. Are you your story, like the chair “is something to sit on”. Are you truly your story? Your self image? Or are you like the chair,unlimited_sm2 an infinite bunch of possibilities?

The only thing that is holding you back, is how effective your questions are? if you ask a different question you will get a different result.

How do you feel about yourself now? What would happen, if you asked the question? what are all the good things that have happened, to me, in my life?

Questions change everything! Iim-actually-pretty-smart failed school, and I thought I was stupid until I asked one simple question. Have I done at least one smart thing in my life? and of course the answer was yes! I asked another, will i do other smart things? and of course the answer was yes, again. So I asked one final question, if I have done smart things in the past, and I will in the future, was my old self image true? and of course it wasn’t.
What questions do you ask yourself, and how are they making you enthusiastic? because if they are not, they are not, effective questions.

what-questonsHow can you start asking more effective questions? How can you start making yourself feel, more enthusiastic.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Re-evaluating my goals.

My plan to speak at pendulum summit got derailed, for the past few months.

I set an audacious goal, and didn’t really know what I was getting myself in for.

Challenge-Accepted-2f2xs0v

Just like all goals, plan A didn’t work also plan b, c,d, and e. But now finally after trailing and fail-learning and a bit of de-motivation, I am getting the picture back of what I wanted 9 months ago.

I can see myself speaking on stage and the energy in the place being off the charts. I know the type of energy I want, because I’ve was a DJ, and I know when a place is electric. 3 or 4 thousand people, with a real drive, to be the best that they can be. Just even saying this pumps me up.

thinkbigger

I got derailed like every one, my goal was going to take a lot more effort than I thought. But that is the mark of a real goal. Something that will grow you. I had all the pieces but had no idea how long and how to put them together.

My naive assumption at the start of the year was, I’d put out a bunch of videos and get traction, and that was it. Haha. So funny now. Totally delusional. But again that is the mark of a true goal.

So, I’ve melted my own head over, and over, just like every entrepreneur, and it didn’t seem as much fun, as it originally did. It started feeling like it was going to be a lot of hard work.

Hard work

My plan originally was to do a bit of online marketing, and get a job with Pendulum Summit doing marketing, network with all the top people, and develop an opportunity that way.

What has come about, is I’ve had to start a media company, to build my own brand, which still doesn’t exist. So I’ve had to do a lot of study, and growing, than originally planned.

I started a meet up group,(The Epic Life Group) because I needed experience as an actual speaker. Yea that’s how delusional, this goal was. I fucking love it. Totally nuts.

Because I got disillusioned by the scale of things, my energy started to go, and I realized, I had a lot less time, than I originally thought. I was aiming to have all my stuff together at the end of the year, and I’d get a place to speak. But thanks to DJ and Journalist, Mark Kavanagh, I realized I had a lot less time. I actually had to get my shit together months in advance, because that is when they would finalize the lineup. Yea as I said I was delusional. Haha

Time

So through setting up the Meet-up group, that became much more interesting, and of much more value, than speaking at pendulum summit. I was getting in a small way, what I was aiming for in speaking at Pendulum.

Goo enemy.png

I said to myself, sure if I just build this group to thousands of people, I wont need pendulum.

So I carried on with that vision for a few months and had to think about growing the group, so I started reading lots of books, and marketing stuff, primarily @garyvee and today I realized, that I was struggling with my marketing message.

I realized that I had no direction, for what I was doing, I lost my north star. My vision had evaporated.

I was reading this stuff to grow the group, but to what end. It was vague and mushy.

Lost vision

Over the past few months, I had felt this vagueness, but I had no idea what it was. I went from being proactive, to just reading stuff that seemed like being productive, but it wasn’t leading anywhere.

I am reminded again, and again, that we have to have a north star, a destination, a goal because, that puts what we are doing, now, in context, and gives what we are doing, now, purpose.

north-star-filter

I was proactively lost.

I can even see it in the epic life group, I had lost that drive to grow, by being vague, and the group, I feel,could feel that too. Every bit of content I was putting out was great, but it lacked that bit of drive, and conviction, that direction. What we are all doing this for. We want epic lives, that is why, we are here, and that energy, was faltering.

doepicshit

I understand on a whole new level, the purpose of goals, so much more now. Goals are not to be attained, but they are there as tools to help you grow.

The goal itself is irrelevant, the journey is the most important thing. It is who you become as a result of your journey, that is most important. But! the goal gives you direction.

This goal has gone from being something fun, to something much more serious, it is now become a mark of my growth, as a man, a person, as a person who can make a difference, to his own life, and as a result the people around him.

The goal has gone from being a selfish one, to one that I hope will empower others.

Get over myself

I know now, that I am mad late, on speaking at pendulum, but miracles happen every day.

I am re-energized, and clear again on what I want to do, and why. We all go through these processes. If you are to take one thing away from this, is just keep going, keep moving forward, and things will become clear eventually.

Clear Vision Clear Reults

If  I had have stopped, I would not have a second chance now, and I gave myself that second chance.

Second chances

My energy and clarity is back.

I see myself in the Dublin Exhibition Center speaking to 3 thousand people, and bringing them on a journey that empowers the fuck out of them. I see the place going nuts, for themselves, because they will see how far, they have come, through my story.

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If I can be so delusional, and keep going, so can anyone. I can tell you now, I am 100% a better person for all the effort I have put in. Win, loose, or draw I have grown, and that is the real purpose of goals.

Feel awesome2

I can not go back to who I was, and one way or another, I am going to have better things because of this.

I look forward to meeting you on our Epic Journey’s

 

The most important thing, you could ever do!

Setting your mentality for the day.

Imagine waking up, and the first thing you notice, is how tired you still feel. Like that 8 hours of sleep, has just been a waste of time. You have just fucked up your sleep and you already feel like a looser.

In bed tired.

I have done this way too much. Starting off my days in completely the most dis-empowering way possible.

I’m sure you have heard, what I am about to say already, and it’s probably made sense to you.

What I want to ask you, is why haven’t you done it? I want you to ask yourself, why you haven’t done it?

why

I don’t feel like it, it’s too hard when I’m tired, I don’t think of it. whatever your complaints are I’ve used them. I have gotten into looser mode first thing.

What it boiled down to for me is, I didn’t put me, as high enough priority in my life. I was a whinger and a moaner.

51spHovQygL

I was going with the flow, wake up, and see what happens. No direction.

I knew all the right stuff, but wasn’t doing it, because, I just didn’t feel like it.

e6511e0dd7b4a8c6217e4eccd6f74bbc

I’d try it for a bit, and then let just let old ways win out.

Now, I want you to imagine, what it would be like, to feel awesome every day, grateful every day, and excited to see what happens?

All good things are the opposite side of effort. Even in the smallest way. You have to get up off your bum, to get an ice-cream from the fridge.

This is so important I’ll say it twice, “all good things are the opposite side of effort”.

So how can you expect to have a good day, if you don’t put any effort into it?

Hope is the most destructive thing, on this planet!

Hope gets you nothing! Effort gets you something!

What would happen if you put energy into your day? If you said, thank you, for a bed to lye, thank you, for the house that keeps me out of the wind. Be grateful for what ever you want.

Feel Awesome

Then you start creating how you want your day to go. I am going to meet this person and have an awesome time no matter what. We are going to have fun. I’m going to enjoy the drive to work today. What ever you want, you can choose how you want to feel about it.

Feel awesome2

Imagine taking charge of yourself and your day!! How awesome would that be? I can I willImagine putting effort into how much fun your life is going to be, just because you decided to?

Take 1 minute now and do this. Say with a smile on your face, feel silly and put real energy into it. I feel fantastic, I feel fantastic, I feel fantastic, the rest of today is going to be awesome! just pay attention to how you feel, now?
Drive that energy now, this is literally the most important thing, you could do for your, whole life,    Feel_Awesome-606x230 right now. Take full charge, and have an awesome day! Choose to feel better, choose to have fun, choose to feel awesome, now! you are in charge!

It’s your choice!

Loosing my mind with Fear

FearIf you imagine a dark alley what do you think of. Happiness or fear?

I’m guessing you thought of danger why is that? I’m sure in reality 99% of people walk through dark alleys and lane-ways without any incident what so ever. So why do we think of danger, when we say dark alley?

batman_alleyWas it because Batman’s parents were killed there? Is it because the caped crusader prowls them now haha.

Have you ever been actually mugged down a dark alley?

So what is it that has created this mentality about dark alleys being dangerous? That something MAY happen not will?

Its really interesting isn’t it?

familiarity-breeds-contempt-quote-1We can blame the media, but in reality its actually just a story, that movies and the media have perpetuated over the years.

So if it is just a story why do we feel it’s real?

If we walk down the same alley every day, does the feeling change, because your more familiar with it? Why is that? Are you more or less safe than someone who has never walked down that alley?

FEARSo what is fear really? Why do you fear when your just imagining stuff? Is fear real then?

I will be expanding on this over the coming day’s and at our weekly talk in the epic life group.

What limits us (fears), and how to focus on what benefits us.

Tuesday, Jul 12, 2016, 7:00 PM

Guinness Enterprise Centre
Taylor’s Lane Dublin 8, IE

11 Epiclifers Went

This is the power week. We get to see what is limiting us and let it go.By understanding who we really are we can then step into our role as a creator.Imagine waking up each morning with enthusiasm, how awesome would life be. what is the usual dialogue that goes on for you in the morning? does that empower you or dis-empower you?What would hap…

Check out this Meetup →

 

Self support the missing ingredient.

Constructive-Criticism Criticism is the most destructive thing that has ever been on this planet, and most of all from our parents. It causes a horrible chain reaction that can last for years, decades and multiple life times. We get criticized, this causes a feeling of not being good enough, then we want to feel better, we then look for approval. Our self-image has been damaged, we are not good enough anymore. Up until this time we were happy with everything we did. Then we learned to evaluate ourselves in a way that will diminish us, maybe for the rest of our lives.Self-Criticism

This has taken me hundreds of courses, a small fortune and thousands of hours of meditation and self evaluation. All roads lead to this, and this is the cause of all of our problems. Be it abuse or just criticism we are searching for something externally to fill this void in us. our low self esteem.

We have the feeling of not being good enough, we try to avoid that feeling, cover it up, or run away from it, it is constant no matter who we see or where we go, it is always with us. Because it happened so long ago, we can barely see, that it is this feeling that is causing soo much trouble in our lives. We are at its mercy.

We try to over achieve to counter act that feeling, maybe if I’m the best, richest or most popular maybe I can finally get rid of it. Maybe I’ll eventually be good enough maybe eventually I will be lovable? but we still manage to find that one thing that was not perfect, and no matter what achievements we have, they will never be good enough. We will never be good enough.

I can see how all addictions stem from avoiding this feeling, that will never cease or go away. I can see why guys and girls end up with the wrong people, hopelessly entangled in a hope to fill this void.

We are a global leader in developing innovative software, websites and marketing solutions for businesses. (1)What I learned about myself is that I was looking to fill this void, even after all the work I had put in. Deep down I was looking for support and approval from my parents. I didn’t get it as a child they had the best of intentions, but delivered it the way they were taught.

I’ve had a drive to be a better person, but it was coming from the wrong place. It was coming from a place of pain not joy.

I realized that this has had such huge impact on my life. Probably the most influential thing in my life.

I have heard so much about learning to love yourself. But what is that? Its vague at best and non-sense to most people. The vast majority of people do not know what love is and I certainly didn’t, to be honest I’m still not sure.

However, I do know what support is, I do know what being nice is, and I do know what seeing the best in others is. I know because I’ve been doing this for years for everyone else but myself.

Maybe I was subconsciously hoping that they would do it for me. But this could never happen my defenses where on such high alert, that even if they did give me a complement, I couldn’t hear or feel it. I had to solve this problem myself.

I had to see it / feel it.Self Support

What changed and over a few days is I started noticing how I had a lot of resistance to letting people know what I was up to, my latest plans, or just life in general, I wouldn’t share who I was, for fear of criticism, fear of being hurt. If no one knows how can they hurt me?

What I learned was I have to support myself, I have to be the one who pats myself on the back, and how I do that is by facing my feelings. Instead of running away I will listen to them and hear what they have to say. Ultimately they are there for a reason, and that reason is always for my highest good. They want me to stay safe, be happy ultimately they are looking out for me. They do not want me to feel pain. I don’t want me to feel pain.

freedom-is-lta-hrefquothttpearnscliffecoukhowwecanhelpreplicabagsukphpquotgtreplica-designer-handbag-13921121268n4kgWhat happened over the coming days, I paid attention to what is going on inside me, and finally listened to what my emotions where saying by listening I was able to turn around that approval mechanism, from being externally driven, to being internally driven. Essentially supporting myself.

I’ve tried this a number of times before by writing down what did over the course of a day but it was always avoiding the feeling rather than sitting with it and learning from it. I was trying to over ride it instead of listening to it.

I now have to create a new dialogue with myself feel my emotions, listen and build myself in the right way. Listening and feeling what is going on inside you is the quickest and easiest way of moving forward in life.

fresh-airYou have an opportunity right now to take a huge step forward in life. Where have you been looking for approval where have you been looking for support and at the same time ignoring yourself looking for something that you will never get externally? You have an opportunity to fill yourself with approval, support, and ultimately love yourself more.

Connecting To Your Heart.

Over the past 6 months while I’ve been on this trip to speaking at Pendulum Summit I’ve been hit with a multitude of issues and whilst all of them have been a pain, they are good. They have focused me.

heart-462873The biggest thing I’ve learned (again) is that you have to do what you love. What I had to learn was how to get into my heart, actually connect with myself. Due to partying and the usual growing up traumas I cut myself off from my emotions. I was happy in my numb-ness, but this caused a huge problem I couldn’t connect with what I wanted. From the outside I was enthusiastic and trying new things, but each thing had no meaning, they were just interesting. When I decided to become a DJ, when I was 20 ish at a Fatboy slim concert, that was a huge emotional confirmation I WANT THIS nothing before, or since has had that effect on me. Everything was just so so. But DJing was a different story, I could be free.

Now after doing some serious soul searching and energetic clearing, I’ve been able to connect more and more with my heart, the mad thing is that connecting with your heart is so much harder, and easier than you could imagine.

heartbeat-163709If I look back at my life, well the last 16 years at least I kinda have been connected, but the context was all wrong. The only things that have interested me is mad things, like jumping out of planes, DJing to mad crowds, and just trying new things in general. I did not want a specific thing, “my heart’s desire”.

I always thought that my heart desire would be something like ending poverty. or feeding the homeless. But in reality what makes me excited, is strange, different, quirky, and mad things. new, new, different. I always thought that, that was just me, who I was, but that wasn’t what my heart’s desire was.

eyes-421781My heart’s desire is simply just “I like mad things” different, new, change.

I’ve come to realize that because my heart’s desire was so close, I could not see it. It is literally how I operated. It was literally what made me excited, enthusiastic, and curious. But what did I want to do with that. What could I do with that?

People are passionate about making money, they are passionate about blogging, making videos, entrepreneurship / business or some other thing. I was interested in these things, but my heart just wasn’t into it, so I just kept running out of steam, after the initial curiosity wore off.

So what does all this mean now? Well its changed things around for me. I don’t want things, I want experiences, that fill me full of enthusiasm, excitement, and feed my curiosity.fitness-540263

Understanding the feelings I wanted, helped me connect with what I wanted to do, to get them.

Our hearts desire is a feeling not a thing. This was a revelation to me. I wanted fun, as much fun as possible.

This enabled me to think about this whole thing another way. It enabled me to ask a better question!

landscape-640617I asked what will be the best way for me to get the most experiences, while having the most fun, and earning plenty of money. I came back around to blogging, but this time its blogging with a purpose, I want to have an epic life. I want to do it all. And I suspect you do too. But an awesome life for me, and for you are two different things. You may see an awesome life as having your own house and I see traveling as a much higher priority. But either way the process we go through will be the same.

I’ve come full circle on my goal for this year. I’m six months in, and I haven’t blogged in a month, because I got derailed. I got derailed because of one thing. I wasn’t connected to my heart, I did not have that, I ran out of steam, I could not see why I was doing this anymore. Because I wasn’t’ fully clear on what I wanted in the first place.

I want to do mad things and show the world that everything is possible. To do that, I want to speak at the premier speaking event in the whole country. Why because its mad and I feel it will have a positive impact on the people around me. Why because I’m nobody, and if a nobody can do this, well then pretty much anything is possible, if your heart is in it.glow-1177383

So let’s do some mad stuff, lets have lots of fun, and see what is possible. I’m re-energised and I hope you are too.

My Chronic Fatigue Story

Chronic-FatigueOver the past 10 years I’ve struggled with chronic fatigue and Fibromyalgia I have
tried every treatment and therapy known to man, but no success. That’s I because I was looking in the wrong place for the solution to my issue.

This crept up on me gradually, bit by bit, I had to go back to bed, more and more each day. First I went to the doctor, and that was of no use. Then I went to Nutritionists, Dietitians, Naturopaths, Ayurveda, you name it i did it. I started doing course after course, and I kept getting worse and worse. At the height of it I could barely work, I was completely dependent, on my parents, to survive. I was only functional for a few hours a day.

bernarr-macfadden-fighting-disease-with-vitalityI have noticed a pattern with clients. We are very alike, different races, creeds and body types, but we have one key trait that shines through it all. We all have ambition, but unfortunately we are hindered by our energy levels. We get frustrated, stressed, and this just compounds the whole matter. We are driven, but that drive is actually what Is causing the problem.

As I have worked through my own stuff I’ve gone to 100’s of experts in lots of different fields searching for the solution. I was always looking externally to myself what chemical what imbalance what cure can I get for this.

fibromyalgia-1What I have found is that Chronic Fatigue is the result, but not the cause. It is the result of a whole chain of things. If your look at the result, not the cause you will never find a solution, because your looking completely in the wrong place.

Let me explain this in a slightly abstract way. Imagine one million years ago when we were walking around the jungle and a big animal jumps out to attack us, we go sprinting as fast as we can, this is the fight or flight response, or stress. Our bodies are really smart and because we need all our energy and physical resources to go to our muscles, our body shuts down non essential parts of our bodies, like our digestive system, when stressed. The person gets away and then relaxes and his body returns to normal.

hqdefaultThere are no dangers like that in our lives, but we still have the same system operating in the background. Our body doesn’t know the difference between an animal and work stress or the stress of having to pay bills. where do people get butterflies when they are about to get up on stage?

The problem is we are in a constant state of stress every day. Stress going to work, stress in work, stress coming home and stress on the news. We are in a constant state of stress so our bodies do not normalize anymore.

If our digestive system is constantly not fully engaged then we have food that sits in our digestive system, and causes irritation, then we develop food intolerance’s. Because it is not fully turned on, we don’t absorb the right nutrients. We are in a heightened state of alertness, so we are burning more and more vitamins, at the exact time we are not absorbing them! We are running our engines with little or no oil, to keep it in peak performance. On top or all that because we are tired we tend to want more calorie rich food like chocolate sugar and carbs, but these again are not going to replace what we need. On top of that again we drink caffeine which literally turns on our stress hormones (adrenaline) to boost our energy which adds more pressure on a completely exhausted system.

Do you see where this is going? So we are running on empty, not just empty but on a deficit. We are running ourselves into the ground.

But all of that stress started in our perceptions of what was going on! It all started in our decisions about what is going on in our world. Everything chases back to our thoughts, options, and decisions. They either stress us out or not!

This is why my blog is called Health Starts In The Mind because everything in our lives starts in our mind. Our thoughts create our reality.

FibromyalgiaThis had a cascade effect in my body as I got more stressed, I thought more how to fix it, as I through more how to fix it, I got more stressed. Bit by bit my body started to shut down and the external effects of my thought patterns started to show up. I was getting more tired and sleeping more, but not getting a proper rest, then because of inactivity, my legs and back started to ache. So I started to look at what was making me tired and sore. But that was the wrong place. I had to take control of my thoughts.

HealthSo what changed? I got pissed off really pissed off I realized that I’d have to figure this out myself.  Bit by bit I worked through my food intolerance’s and worked on upping my nutrition by eating better foods. But I would only get so far, I’d improve then my stress levels would catch up with my health, and I’d start going downhill again. Then I really started to change how I perceived the world. I started to really delve into how my mind worked. I started to learn how reality worked and started to change that for the better. HealthyThe more I worked on my thoughts the more I de-stressed the more I de-stressed the more energy I had. I learnt how to focus on what I wanted not what I didn’t want. I wanted to be full of energy and enthusiasm. Reading about sickness only made me stressed, and as a result sick.

I’ve noticed over and over that people who have chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia ME and depression, are all smart people with ambition. Any of the ones that heal all have a moment where they say no more! They call it rock bottom, where they decide what they are doing isn’t working, and it’s time to do something else. To start thinking differently!

Today I’m one of the healthiest people you will meet. I do get tired but that is because I do too much. but I regulate it way better now and i work with my body. I don’t stress about it i just do what is right for me and move on. Nice and easy.

Let me ask you what do you want? Do you want to be “not sick” or full of “Vitality and H



ealth”? I know what I want. So what are you going to change today?

What fear really is.

Fear.Fear

FEAR

FEAR!

Fear is a tricky thing to deal with. But once examined it becomes nothing more than a thought that passes in the night.

What is fear? Fear as a term is too abstract, to intangible to be able to put anything Fear is the mind killersolid on it, to figure a way around. If you had a road block you figure out another direction. But with fear its nebulous thing that actually pops up in your way whichever way you turn.

The word fear makes us believe it’s a thing like a chair but it’s not. It is a made up word to represent the result of something not the actual cause. By looking at the result all the time you are blinded to the cause.

I now see fear on a spectrum. One end you see the word fear and on the other end you see the word trust.

Let’s take an example. People have a fear of flying, but what is that. How many people a year die from flying? fear-of-flyingNot many in the grand scheme of things. Where did that fear come from? Planes are only around the past 100 years. Did someone invent it? That sounds mad that someone would invent it, but the really mad thing is that it was invented. Somebody had to come up with a medical term for it. Aviophobia is the term. Who came up with that and who was the first person diagnosed with it what was it called before it was Aviophobia?

Why are people afraid of flying and not of cookers? More people each year die from cooker related stuff. The mad thing is people are often afraid of planes and have never been on one. Yet everyone has used a cooker, been burnt, not once but many times, and you are 100% guaranteed to get burnt again. So what’s the difference?

Why do you get scared when you go to the cinema and see a scary movie? You know walking in that it’s fake, it’s not real, but you get carried away and get scared anyway? Why is that? It’s because we have imaginations. We can imagine ourselves in that position and how we would feel if something was going wrong. Is that situation real? Why do we get a real response? Because in our minds reality and fantasy are no different.

So what is happening when people have a fear of flying? Are they simply just imagining themselves in a compromised position? Are they fantasizing about something going wrong?

Being-Awesome-takes-practiceHow would they feel if they started imagining everything being awesome? Would that start to make them feel good?

Either way they are playing a story in their head, that is dis-empowering them, or empowering them but it is just a story!

Just to be clear what is a story? A story is something that is made up or imaginary and can be changed at any time. If someone decided to do some hypnotism on a poor unfortunate victim would he be able to make that person afraid of cookers? How does he do that? How he does that is by implanting a story in that persons head that cookers are dangerous.

Where are fears? Fears are always in the future they may be seconds away but none the less they are in the future.

Dark alleySo what happens when we walk down a dark alley at night, and we start to get scared? What is happening there? Are we imagining a good future or a bad one, based on what evidence? All we have is a dark alley? And we heard that someone some time somewhere got mugged? But are you in danger? Or are you imagining it?

Hopefully you’re seeing a pattern now fears are imaginary and a story that we are telling ourselves.

So why are they so dis-empowering? Because we believe them! It’s really that simple.

So let’s flip the whole thing let’s stop looking at fears altogether, and start looking at people who are fearless.

Fear of heightsWe have all seen people who are not afraid of heights, why is that? Quite often they are people who have worked on ladders or done rock climbing or something to that effect? So why are they fearless? Is it because they are familiar with heights? To a large degree yes but that is still looking at the result not the cause. They know it’s dangerous yet they still do it. The fear doesn’t seem to exist?
Let’s go back to the alley. Would a person who has a black belt in some martial art, be as afraid as you or I, walking through that alley? Probably not. Why is that? Would you say this person has more confidence? What is confidence? Confidence is self-trust. That black belt trusts himself and his skills to keep him safe, so in that situation he actually won’t even think about any danger until something presented itself.

Like the people who are not afraid of heights they trust themselves they trust that Self Trustthey are going to be safe because experience tells them that. This is the true cause of fear. People do not trust themselves or life because of the stories they tell themselves.

It is the same with you, and a cooker. You have enough trust in yourself, that you will be ok. You may get burned, but you will deal with that when it happens. The danger is there but I trust myself that I will be able to deal with it when it arises. So there is no point in thinking about it now.

So what is fear really fear is really an external representation of your own lack of self-trust? So what’s the solution? Its simple learn to trust yourself look at all the times you have overcome some issue or another. How many dangerous roads have you crossed with no incident what so ever. Look at how much you have survived already. The evidence is overwhelming that you’re going to be alright. So why do I still feel fearful? Basically because the news fills you full of fear full stories and your friends tell you about how they do not trust themselves and fill us full of their fears. So you have to practice every time you feel bad, laugh and say gees I got caught up in that story. If you put your effort into all the things your already good at you will trust yourself more and more.

So what is the result of trust? Success isSelf trust is the first secret to success. the result of trust. Can you think of any wealthy happy or powerful person who doesn’t trust themselves? They all believe in themselves that is the only thing they do differently.

So go to places and do things that build your self-trust push your capabilities don’t face your fears don’t even bother with them. Tell yourself the story that you want and play it over and over. If you’re afraid of heights stand Visualize yourself being perfectly comfortable in that situation then go stand on high things until you completely trust yourself in those situations.I Love Me

Where is fear when you’re visualizing an empowering story? It simply doesn’t exist.

Would trusting yourself be loving yourself?

Simple questions to change your life.

Anthony Robbins is often heard stating “if you want a better result, ask a better question”.

Our lives are driven by questions. Driven is the important word there. If we frieddon’t ask questions, how can we get what we want?

Often we hear ourselves asking “what do I want” but this is often met with a shrug and a “I dunno”.

So let us look at this another way because “what do I want?” is too vague and it’s also looking for one thing. I want lots of things, so the question instantly causes confusion.

How about asking what “would I like”? It has a much more playful feeling, and isn’t that the feeling you want out of life.

What would happen if you made a huge list of all the things you’d like in your life.

  1. A cool house / apartment
  2. A sweet car (Range Rover for me please)
  3. A cool relationship.
  4. Great friends.
  5. So on and so on.

Now that you have a huge list, the bigger the better, (because we are here to live life to the fullest). Let’s ask another question… what do i want first? Then another question… what do i want to do to make that happen? And the most important question what do I have to improve, in me,images to make that happen?

As you can see by improving the question you get a better result.

How are you going to have more fun today?

What do you want more? To stay in bed another hour or to have an epic life.

I look forward to reading your questions.

Thank you.

What is a Habit, is it really hard to break?

As I’ve been developing my course, I’ve used the word habit, a lot, and that got me thinking ???? What is a habit? Quit-Bad-Habits

What I used to believe, is that a habit was a thing that, if you do something enough it becomes automatic and then it’s really hard to break from then on.

I’ve read a few books that claim it takes 21 days and even 69 days to create a habit or to break one.

I’ve come to realise that this is just non-sense we create and break habits all the time every day.changing-habits  new-habits

I’m sure the above two lines sound really familiar to you.

Habits are basically the most efficient way for us to do something, so from a logical stand point you would want to keep doing them, that way.

Imagine you driving home from work every day, you think that is the most efficient route home and you pretty much do it unconsciously. What would happen if someone showed you a route home that was shorter in time? If you try it once and it is shorter it would literally be stupid for you not to drive that way home? As long as getting home quickly was your priority!

That habit got changed instantly because it was of more value for you to drive home quicker.Freedom

What about smoking? That is a tough habit to break, right? it’s got an addiction associated with it. We can quickly see the exact same process as the above statement. Once people define the value of living or enjoying life more, than smoking, they give up there and then, or it may take a few times. But they do it.habit

The reason is, that once we define the value in anything, then we understand that that is the best way to do something, and it’s more efficient to do it that way. We create a new habit.

Habits are easy to change and create, just define the value of what you want, and you will begin to do it automatically.

You can never break a habit, create a new, better one, to replace it.

So what new empowering habits do you want to create?