Re-evaluating my goals.

My plan to speak at pendulum summit got derailed, for the past few months.

I set an audacious goal, and didn’t really know what I was getting myself in for.

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Just like all goals, plan A didn’t work also plan b, c,d, and e. But now finally after trailing and fail-learning and a bit of de-motivation, I am getting the picture back of what I wanted 9 months ago.

I can see myself speaking on stage and the energy in the place being off the charts. I know the type of energy I want, because I’ve was a DJ, and I know when a place is electric. 3 or 4 thousand people, with a real drive, to be the best that they can be. Just even saying this pumps me up.

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I got derailed like every one, my goal was going to take a lot more effort than I thought. But that is the mark of a real goal. Something that will grow you. I had all the pieces but had no idea how long and how to put them together.

My naive assumption at the start of the year was, I’d put out a bunch of videos and get traction, and that was it. Haha. So funny now. Totally delusional. But again that is the mark of a true goal.

So, I’ve melted my own head over, and over, just like every entrepreneur, and it didn’t seem as much fun, as it originally did. It started feeling like it was going to be a lot of hard work.

Hard work

My plan originally was to do a bit of online marketing, and get a job with Pendulum Summit doing marketing, network with all the top people, and develop an opportunity that way.

What has come about, is I’ve had to start a media company, to build my own brand, which still doesn’t exist. So I’ve had to do a lot of study, and growing, than originally planned.

I started a meet up group,(The Epic Life Group) because I needed experience as an actual speaker. Yea that’s how delusional, this goal was. I fucking love it. Totally nuts.

Because I got disillusioned by the scale of things, my energy started to go, and I realized, I had a lot less time, than I originally thought. I was aiming to have all my stuff together at the end of the year, and I’d get a place to speak. But thanks to DJ and Journalist, Mark Kavanagh, I realized I had a lot less time. I actually had to get my shit together months in advance, because that is when they would finalize the lineup. Yea as I said I was delusional. Haha

Time

So through setting up the Meet-up group, that became much more interesting, and of much more value, than speaking at pendulum summit. I was getting in a small way, what I was aiming for in speaking at Pendulum.

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I said to myself, sure if I just build this group to thousands of people, I wont need pendulum.

So I carried on with that vision for a few months and had to think about growing the group, so I started reading lots of books, and marketing stuff, primarily @garyvee and today I realized, that I was struggling with my marketing message.

I realized that I had no direction, for what I was doing, I lost my north star. My vision had evaporated.

I was reading this stuff to grow the group, but to what end. It was vague and mushy.

Lost vision

Over the past few months, I had felt this vagueness, but I had no idea what it was. I went from being proactive, to just reading stuff that seemed like being productive, but it wasn’t leading anywhere.

I am reminded again, and again, that we have to have a north star, a destination, a goal because, that puts what we are doing, now, in context, and gives what we are doing, now, purpose.

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I was proactively lost.

I can even see it in the epic life group, I had lost that drive to grow, by being vague, and the group, I feel,could feel that too. Every bit of content I was putting out was great, but it lacked that bit of drive, and conviction, that direction. What we are all doing this for. We want epic lives, that is why, we are here, and that energy, was faltering.

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I understand on a whole new level, the purpose of goals, so much more now. Goals are not to be attained, but they are there as tools to help you grow.

The goal itself is irrelevant, the journey is the most important thing. It is who you become as a result of your journey, that is most important. But! the goal gives you direction.

This goal has gone from being something fun, to something much more serious, it is now become a mark of my growth, as a man, a person, as a person who can make a difference, to his own life, and as a result the people around him.

The goal has gone from being a selfish one, to one that I hope will empower others.

Get over myself

I know now, that I am mad late, on speaking at pendulum, but miracles happen every day.

I am re-energized, and clear again on what I want to do, and why. We all go through these processes. If you are to take one thing away from this, is just keep going, keep moving forward, and things will become clear eventually.

Clear Vision Clear Reults

If  I had have stopped, I would not have a second chance now, and I gave myself that second chance.

Second chances

My energy and clarity is back.

I see myself in the Dublin Exhibition Center speaking to 3 thousand people, and bringing them on a journey that empowers the fuck out of them. I see the place going nuts, for themselves, because they will see how far, they have come, through my story.

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If I can be so delusional, and keep going, so can anyone. I can tell you now, I am 100% a better person for all the effort I have put in. Win, loose, or draw I have grown, and that is the real purpose of goals.

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I can not go back to who I was, and one way or another, I am going to have better things because of this.

I look forward to meeting you on our Epic Journey’s

 

A Little more about me.

I’ve been farting about with this blog for years now, and it’s time to make something of it.getting nowhere

I’m not a writer, and I’m not an internet marketer, hence being so slow at posting and promoting my blog.

I asked myself one simple question. What one skill could I develop that would give me the greatest impact on this planet, and you guessed it Blogging was the answer. Ah shit.

I’ve had a mad life, to put it mildly. Mad in a bad way, and the awesome way. Now it’s time for me to put what I’ve learned into practice, and start living the life of my dreams.

But like everyone on this planet I’ve got some challenges, and this is what I want to share with you. I’ve read all the books and gone to all the seminars but still there is something holding me back.

i was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 26 (ADHD does not exist, poor focus does) so that puts into perspective how good i was at school, i failed everything and school failed me. I had Little or no self-belief, no self-worth, and most of all no skills to start figuring my way out of this.

held_back_by_h_nguyenSo over the past 10 years I’ve studdied and learned, about how the mind works, but still something was still holding me back. No matter how hard I tried, I could not move forward with my life. I could learn, but not take action on what was going to move me forward. I was stuck!

Through years of pushing ahead and getting nowhere, I started to get sick, I was Chronic fatigueburning out, so much so, I was laid up in bed for nearly two years, with chronic fatigue and was most definitely depressed as a result.

All that started me looking further and further afield into more alternative solutions to my issues. i started to ask better questions. i went from asking why was i sick to how can i improve.

living an epic lifeThis is where my life started to pull back together. Once you realize that everything is energy, your thoughts, your words, your electrical impulses that make you move, your brain waves, then you can really start healing and improving.

i started to realize that there are many levels to personal development, but two main ones. Your mind set and the energy in your environment, (internally and externally).

You can be the most positive person in the world, but if you’re around a bunch of depressed people, they will drag you down. Maybe not a lot, but one way or another your environment dictates, the majority of what your life is going to be like.

As I got more and more into the energy side of personal development, the more I was able to take action on what was actually holding me back. I realized that certain things have pulls on your mentality. A simple example would be the Social Welfare, because they give you 200 euro for nothing, it makes it hard to do a job for 300 Breaking limitationseuro, because you will have to work 40 hours for only a 100 euro increase. Also because you only have 200 euro it is very hard to dream about what you want next, because your limited by how much you can invest in your life. A cheap course at 50 euro is a huge chunk of your money. Where as someone who is on 500 euro a week its only 10% of your weekly wages. So being on the dole limits your mentality and as a result your energy and then you get depressed. You have to change your whole environment to start to feel good again. It is a real uphill struggle. but once you can see the energies in your life that are holding you back then you can take charge and do something about it.

As you can see our personal growth can be hindered by not only ourselves, but the environment we live in. This is a much broader spectrum than most of us realize.

What I’ve been doing for myself over the past 10 years is learning all this stuff and bit by bit putting it into practice. I’ve broken most of the things that have been holding me back and now its all about living an epic life.

The life I want to live is one of endless enthusiasm. I realize that I will have my ups Bungee jumpand downs, but through it all I’ll be excited for the coming day.

So this blog will be about what I have learned, what I have done to change that, and what I’m doing to start living the life of my dreams.

The next post will be on how to build your vision.

 

Chronic fatigue and the battle of mind over matter part 2

I’m on day 7 of my hunger strike. Ha ha only joking.

I’ve actually just started day seven of my 14 day fast. I’ve just been drinking lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper, oh and heaps of water and some salt cleanses too, not nice but necessary, the lemon juice is nice even after 21 or so litres of it.

The first two days where tough but gradually it’s been getting easier and easier. Some times and i mean only sometimes, i get a real craving for something but then i just drink more juice and i get back on track its nuts. I guess it’s just practice, I’m getting used to it now.

To be completely honest thought, I feel better than I have for months and on a whole, if you add all the days together, I feel better than i have for years.

I have come to realise that there are two main aspects to my chronic fatigue. One is mental and the other is physical.  The mental is affecting the physical and in return the physical is affecting the mental. It is a vicious cycle.

I’ve tried blood tests; I’m all clear and normal.

I’ve tried food allergy tests, I have lots of intolerances, eliminated most of them for a year, but this only stressed me out, as I was constantly worrying about what i had eaten wrong when I was tired. This in hindsight was really the worst thing to do and a waste of a year. Our intolerances go the less stressed we are. (Certain situations are different but generally)

I’ve tried nutrition / vitamins that had worked a bit, but it’s not done much.

I’ve tried a Candida diet where I ate no sugar or carbs for a month. That was a waste of time also. But this can work for some worth a check out.

I’ve been to doctors, nutritionists, dieticians, naturopaths and every other health care person I could think of. Doctors, nutritionist’s, dieticians, haven’t a clue about how to be healthy.  Naturopaths are the way to go if you’re looking to get healthy. The other people recommend bull that has been recommended by pharmaceutical companies and the meat industry.

Through all that, I’ve tried different alternative healing modalities like, bio energy healing this was the most effective thing I’ve done, but it didn’t last for me. I got a fantastic month where I felt on top of the world but gradually the fatigue crept in. I still had the bad habits that got me into the mess in the first place.

Through all my tests, trials and tribulations, what I have found is that I’ve been stressed. I have a very active brain, a lot of ambition and an even greater impatience. That has been pushing me forward at a great pace, but ambition coupled with negative beliefs and a lot of impatience, with myself, has caused a lot of frustration, which is ultimately stress. Imagine on top of that being tired all the time, it is a disaster waiting to happen.

Our bodies are not designed to be hyped up the time, we are supposed to get stressed, then relax and rejuvenate. Because we over work or bodies and we deplete our stores, effectively we start to run on empty. This is where we start to lose the battle it is a downhill struggle from here.

The mechanism I’m explaining is our animal instincts, running over drive. Our flight or fight mechanism, our survival instinct. Imagine 100,000 years ago in the jungle a lion jumps out and we run and hide. The lion triggered our stress response, which shuts down non essential parts of our bodies and hypes up the essential ones to get away, like your heart and muscles, Makes sense, but then we hide and relax, then carry on with our low stress lives, we rest and recover from the attack.

In this modern age we have lots of low level startles every day. We have to pay our bills, we are stressed in our jobs, we have to remember so much stuff, we have to play it over and over in our heads, so we don’t forget to do it.

Imagine this the biggest electrical or phone bill comes in your front door and you do not have the money for it until pay day, but it is overdue. You get a big dose of stress. That is just a one time thing but if you remember it later in the day, that bill stresses you out again and again and again. This one bill torments us, building our stress, shutting down parts of our bodies, and hyping up other parts. Our stores of energy get depleted, and limiting our recovery time. We need a break, but it’s time to get back to work, and so the cycle continues all day. Even when you get home, that one bill is still tormenting you even in your dreams. DEN DEN DENNNnnnn.

We have all experienced that before, it may have not been bills, but some other thing. Maybe it’s just the fact you’re tired and it pisses you off a thousand times a day.

Our brains get hyped up and caught in a loop, its constant stress and worry.

Now for the real lesson: How does our brain being active, affect our bodies? We have all heard of someone or experienced this ourselves, I call it the butterfly effect. Imagine being nervous before an interview or to do a performance, we get butterflies in our stomach, some people even vomit. That is a direct stress response on the digestive system.

I’m sure you remember earlier in the jungle, I said that when the lion attacked, that we shut down non essential parts of our bodies when stressed, well that part is your digestive system. Who needs to digest when your life is threatened? Not me for sure.

For the past two years I’ve had a mild pain in my stomach or let’s say mild discomfort. I’ve had a foggy feeling in my brain for years and real fatigue for much longer.

I have really high standards for myself. I have found most chronic fatigue sufferers are the same.

What I have done wrong is, I have let my thoughts run away with themselves. Churning over and over worrying and stressing over things, that now in hind sight I should have let go.

All these problems have been tough and frustrating, however I am actually grateful for them, would you believe.

I have learned so much about health, nutrition, psychology, fitness and what I am capable of, over the past few years, that i am sure, i would not have learned otherwise.

It is true all the tough times teach you the best things. However you do not have to go through them you can learn from mine. 🙂

I know i would not be here writing this blog if it wasn’t for all the lessons i have learned over the years through not being at my best. For all this i am immensely grateful.

Through all my study and personal development I’ve learned, what I feel is the solution to chronic fatigue.

We have to look at our lives not our problems. We have to look at our body as a whole. If you go to a doctor he does not know about psychology, if you go to a nutritionist they do not know about pathogens, if you got to a psychologist they do not know anything. Ha ha…. It’s funny cos it’s true. I would not recommend going to any of the above 3. They are only focused on problems not solutions and that is not what you want. such as naturopaths, life coaches, NLP practioners, Hypnosis, ayurveda, all these people will give you the direction to get healthy. check out SCIO for a diagnosis and a starting point.

Any way we have to look at our bodies in a whole-istic way.

We have three main aspects to us as human beings; we are mind, body and energy. We have to get all three in balance to feel spectacular or just even good.

I did the bio energy that worked but wasn’t permanent.

I did nutrition, but that didn’t work all the way.

I did psychology which made me think better, but other things kept pulling me back.

The problem was I did not do all three at once. We need good nutrition to have a good energy field. We need good psychology (not stressed) to have good nutrition. The power cable was broken in many places and that stopped the energy flowing.

This is how I’m putting all this together now.

1st. I’m sorting my head out. I’m getting rid of all those negative beliefs that are polluting my brain and my body. This is all to make my thinking easier and there for less stressed, but on top of that I’m starting to meditate, to actually actively calm my brain before i go to bed and in the morning.

If you meditate for half an hour before bed, i find I have an amazing night’s sleep, which as you know is good regeneration time.

When I meditate in the morning, it makes my whole day easier, which is less stressed and there for more recovery time, which makes you way more capable during the stressed times.

2nd. Sorting my nutrition and health out: I’m currently on this 14 day fast which is to give my overworked digestion a break, and letting it re-set its self. When we do a fast it clears all the toxins out, on top of that it clears out all the old fat, muscle and any other shit that is in your system. Basically it kills off all the bad stuff and only leaves a healthy body behind.

I get to start with a clean slate. (Remember what i said at the start. I’m on day seven and I’m feeling the best I have in years and feeling better by the day.)

3rd. I’m going to sort out my energy field. I may not have to do this, as your body and mind generates the actual field, like a magnet. But if I feel it’s necessary, I’ll go do the bio energy healing again at the end of the 14days. But as it is I’m half way and well on my way to feeling the best i have in years.

I hope this is of use to you and you have a fantastic life. I’m certainly feeling more optimistic about mine.

Best of luck.

Stress management to enthusiasm management.

This will be a little bit of a work shop for you to play along with the more you do the more benefit you will get.

When people are looking to get less stressed I feel they are focusing on the wrong thing. They are focusing on less stressed which is still stressed. They should be looking to get more excited, enthusiastic and passionate about life, or at least feel good every day, but i like going overboard and revving things up.

We are in a world that is growing ever more stressful the GLOBAL financial crisis the news filling us full of fear, recession in our countries and selfish self serving politicians.

The world is a difficult place and the vast majority of us feel helpless to do something about it. It is not a good state to be in every day.

How is listening to the news and all the other misery going on in the world helping you and the planet? And what the hell does all this have to do with stress management?

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Every day we have things that we have to react to, to deal with, or to cope with, one way or another we will have these stressors in our life no matter how rich or how poor we are. Some shit is going to happen. So why worry about it. Why play it over and over in our heads?
I can hear you say but i have to worry about it, who is going to put food on the table?

Let me ask you a question. What is the difference between worrying and thinking?

Does worrying about something make you feel bad or good? Whereas how does thinking about something make you feel. Pretty neutral I am guessing neither good nor bad. Which state do you think will get you the best results?

Worry sounds a bit like this. I have to, oh god, what am i to do? It is full of negative emotions, fear and pain. That is bound to make you feel worse, more stressed, more hopeless and less in control of your life and playing it over and over again in your head is doing no one any good.

Is that state of stress and hopelessness a resourceful state that you can think clearly about a solution? Probably not.

How could you dig your way out of any situation, if you have put yourself under so much pressure you can’t think? And sometimes don’t want to think about it.

As I am writing this I am hoping you are starting to feel the feelings of stress in your body. Your chest is feeling a bit tight and a slight feeling of impatience. I know I am. But this is a good thing for this post.

So now let’s Take a deeep breath and relax. Through your nose and out through your mouth. Have you done it? How does it feel? A bit better I am assuming. Take another deep breath and relax even further if you want.

I am hoping you’re playing along and can feel the difference when we start to take charge of our thoughts and feelings by simply breathing relaxing and noticing that we are stressed. Then we can go from stressed to more relaxed in a few seconds.

As you may have noticed the more we talked about stress the more stressed we got and as soon as we took action on that stress (breathing deeply and relaxing) the stress dissipated and we felt better. So what we think about and talk about we get more of.

But what if we flipped the switch from focusing on being less stressed to being excited about our day.
What would you be focusing on? Feeling good I bet.
How would your language change? Would it go from oh god my life is over i can’t afford to feed myself. To I’m going to take charge of my day and do something productive.

Pick a problem you have, that you have played over and over in your head that is so painful you don’t want to deal with it.
Now find some way of making it sound adventurous or epic or fun or a joke. Put a smile on your face and say it out loud. Write it down like your writing an adventure novel.

My problem was that I had chronic fatigue (through stressing myself out and focusing on the wrong things) so I stopped focusing on being tired all the time to focusing on what I could do in the bit of time I had while I was able to function. I said to myself I’m going to get something done today that is productive and make me feel like I’ve gotten a win and I started taking note of those wins at the end of the day. So I went from focusing on my fatigue to focusing on my wins. Every day bit by bit i got more wins and felt better about myself I felt more powerful and more in charge. Then the big breakthrough came. What if I said, I’m going to feel epic for the bit I’m not fatigued. So I got up each morning read my goals out loud and put every bit of energy into feeling great for the day. I said to myself, I feel terrific, I feel terrific, I feel terrific until I got my emotions into it, (that is the most important bit getting your emotions into it) I started to feel energised more and more until after a few day’s it became habit to feel that way and now I am living full of energy and enthusiasm. Life is still the same i still have all the same issues that got me into that place but now I deal with them in a productive enthusiastic way.

All I did was flip the switch to what I wanted and put the emotion into it. I was sick of feeling tired and stressed, but that is not what I wanted, I wanted to be full of energy, not not stressed.

How much easier would life be if you turned every stress into an adventure, an opportunity to kick its ass and have a good time?

Turn that stress into success and focus on winning each day and living with relentless enthusiasm. With a little practice you can.
Best of luck.