Chronic fatigue and the battle of mind over matter part 4.

I’ve fallen down, face down in emotional mud. I have failed one day short of my 14 day Fast. To be exact 23 hours and 55 minutes. This post is me desperately trying to salvage some good out of my failure. I’m digging up and learning from my mistakes.Fallen in mud

It came over me like a bolt of clarity, what the BLEEP am I doing, I’m in bits my teeth hurt and I can’t think clearly. My body is wasting away and I feel terrible all I’ve done for the past 4 hours is lie on my bed. I’ve wasted the past 3 days on this fast and I’ve gotten very little done. Tomorrow is going to be the same. I don’t want to waste another day being in pain and mentally tortured, I want to start going back to the gym. This fast is nuts I’m going to eat something, to get back on track.

That was the thought process, it happened in a second. I got up and walked down stairs and my Mam was there, I said I’m ending this fast. Without a blink, she said “yea you where crazy to do it as long as you did, any way”. That was it, game over!!!

In the 30 seconds or so that it took you to read those two paragraphs, was all it took to end my 13 days of hard work. The initial thought happened in the blink of an eye.

What went wrong, why all of a sudden did I crack. Does my will power suck do I suck at pushing myself. Have you ever felt this before? If I only had a bit more discipline and will power. I have felt this all too often.

As it turns out I actually don’t have any issues with discipline, or will power and neither do you.

Through research into goal achievement and attainment, I came across a book called Change anything.

As it turns out will power is only a tiny bit of really achieving a goal. This is where I went wrong I was relying on will power too much.

I had read change anything during the week and I made a plan according to their guidelines, but as they say in the book it only takes one of the 6 key influencers to knock you off track. Two of them took me out.

First of all my subconscious used what I like against me. It used value language. It knew I wasn’t going to quit because of hunger, so it used something else. It used wasting time and the gym against me. I hate wasting time and I love going to the gym which I missed these two motivating factors where the straw that broke the camel’s back. It dangled them like a carrot out in front of me.

Secondly I had an accomplice in my failure. My Mam I know she wanted the best for me, but that is not what I wanted for me. She sided with my subconscious and that sealed the deal.

What could I have done differently? Through reading the book I knew there would be difficult times ahead. I could have planned for their eventualities and developed a tactic to apply in moments of weakness.

I could have read my goal again and the reasons why I was doing the fast. It would have refocused me.

I could have rung a friend not an accomplice. A friend is a person who is focused on your goal, an accomplice is a person who may want you to stay the way you are or to accompany you in your old habit. If I’d have rung someone who knew what I was aiming for, they very well could have changed my mind and put me back on track.

Through doing this fast, I’ve gotten to see the goal setting process in a vibrant way. I’ve done all the wrong things and done all the right things, some in the right sequence and some in the wrong.

I know for the next time I do it, I will plan better and I know now I will have a bolt of clarity that will threaten to derail but now I can plan for it and turn it around. I will get more friends in on my goal and use them to keep me on track. I will build up the environment around me to be more conducive to success and ultimately limit all temptations in order to increase my will power.

I am looking forward to the next challenge as I am definitely stronger because of this one. (Which I will have up in the next day or so).

I have gotten my back out of the mud and I’ve started to dig my way up again……….Climbig out of mud

4 Replies to “Chronic fatigue and the battle of mind over matter part 4.”

  1. What you have done is such a MAJOR achievement Miller. And what you have learned and shared here with people is a true gift for you and others. Your going back onto food on day 13 was a great lesson for all of us on how our willpower and subconscious works.
    It all happened ‘perfectly’ for a reason – So that we all could learn what we did from it. Super awesome!!! Your the bomb Miller! (-;

    1. Wow thank you. super chuffed you like it.

      I definitely feel there was a bit of an extra reason to all of this experience .

      Glad you liked it and got something out of it. I definitely did.

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